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| Un Gout De La Paris (A Taste of Paris)
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An old boss and I decided to go out for dinner and catch a movie, as it had been quite some time that we had done so, and we've always had a good time hanging out. So I chose the food and he chose the movie. Being a terrible planner (not really, but in this case, yes), I decided to eat at the first place we passed in which neither of us had eaten. Thus, we happened upon Le Petit Bistro, or "The Little Bistro" (for us americans). Feeling adventurous, I scoured the menu for something other than burgers, fish or steak. Then I zeroed in on Moroccan Sausages and "Pommes Frites". As I have never had moroccan sausages or anything as exotic as "pommes frites", I excitedly ordered.
When the entree arrived, my plate had spicy sausages and french fries. Really? REALLY? You're going to give me spicy f-ing sausages and FRIES? I'm sorry, I thought I went to a FRENCH restaurant. I thought I ordered something moroccan. I thought I was going to try something new. Instead, there I was with spicy sausages and french fries sitting unappeallingly on my plate. Ugh. So, trying to make the best of this situation, I asked if they had any ranch dressing for the fries (A little Britney, I know, but SO tasty!). And, (I wish I was kidding when I say this), the waiter looked at me as if I asked for a ham hock side, then replied with an offended tone, "we do not carry your 'ranch' dressing". Seriously? You're going to get snobby after handing me a plate of spicy sausages and fries? SERIOUSLY? And what did my friend GS get with his steak? Steamed vegetables? Baked Potato? Garlic Mashed? No. He got pommes frites. Yes, fries.
Anyway, dinner finished (and the sausages weren't half-bad, although they were still just spicy sausages), and knowing my friend GS, the movie selection was not going to be found at a multi-plex. In fact, odds were that we would have to go to some mini-theater with perhaps 5 other people to watch a subtitled movie. And . . . the odds were right. He opted for a french movie (who knew we would have a theme?) entitled "Les Chansons D'Amour" or "Love Songs". This movie turned-out to be a french musical! Yes, you read that right, a MUSICAL! So, armed with the knowledge that I'm about to ruin the movie, and the fact that most people will never watch this, here goes:
Les Chansons D'Amour (Love Songs).
This musical is broken-up into 3 parts, the divisions of which are inexplicable. Kind of like when a movie is "adapted" for television, and they break to commercials at the least opportune moments or stay on the movie during a natural commercial break. In fact, the second part ends with one of the characters getting into a cab, and the third part begins with the same character in the cab. Really? Well, THAT was brilliant.
Anyway, here's the story (and if you need to, write down the names to keep track. You'll thank me later):
Cute couple Julie and Ismael are happy and (though they deny it to each other) in love. Julie decides to allow a trois into the mix, Ismael's co-worker Alice. The obvious jealousies arise - Julie feeling left-out and unloved because Ismael and Alice are flirty, Alice feeling left-out because of the Julie-Ismael bond, and Ismael feeling left out of the girl-on-girl action. Now I don't know about you, but whenever I've thought of a menage a trois (not that I've thought about it much), it wasn't 2 people doing it with one watching. I always thought all 3 were getting busy at the same time. Correct me if I'm wrong, but what's the purpose of bringing in the trois if you're not getting it on with both? But I digress. Back to the movie. Julie is close to her family. So, close, in fact, that she discusses the trois situation with her mother asking for advice. Now don't get me wrong. I love my mother. Because of my brother J, I came-out to my mother, and as far as I can tell, she's okay. But I am not about to tell her what I do in bed. And I am DEFINITELY not going to ask for her advice! Ah, the french.
Now you must keep in mind that they are randomly breaking into french song throughout. And not good songs either.
So all 3 go to a club to listen to a musician, and Alice, feeling left-out as Ismael and Julie embrace while listening, latches-onto another man - her future boyfriend. Julie starts to feel ill, and she and Ismael decide to leave. As Julie leaves the club, she collapses. The ambulance comes, but Julie dies. She apparently had a bloot clot in an artery and therefore had a heart attack. Now perhaps american TV makes this out to be much more dramatic, but it didn't seem like the cops or medics in the ambulance really tried hard to revive her. Their lines were delivered with the same urgency and emotion as Ben Stein reading the role call. Beuller? Beuller? Anyway, she dies.
And yes, there are more songs about this.
Now my friend and I don't want to talk during the move, so we just continuously look over to each other with WTF looks on our faces and our shoulders shrugged begging for someone to PLEASE explain this to us.
So her family is unusually close to Ismael. So close, in fact, the older sister, Jeanne, offers to "comfort" Ismael. And yes, "comfort" is an euphomism for "have sex with," just in case you weren't picking up what I was laying down. In fact, possessing Julie's key, she goes to his apartment to make sure he's "doing okay." (Do I need to explain "doing okay?") Compound that with former trois girl and current co-worker Alice wanting to "comfort" Ismael as well as they "both need each other right now," and you've got a party going on at Ismael's and everyone's invited. Ismael, though, understandably has trouble spending time in his apartment, as everything reminds him of Julie, so Alice offers for him to sleep on the couch of her new boyfriend's place, who lives with his gay younger brother, Erwann. What's that I smell? Yes, it's trouble, and it's stinks to high heaven. Surprisingly, or rather - not surprisingly at all, Erwann ALSO wants to "comfort" Ismael. Welcome to the party, Erwann. Can I get you a beverage?
All I can say, is that I need a girlfriend who randomly dies.
After a series of inexplicable events and even more inexplicable songs, Jeanne gives-up on Ismael singing about love lost, and Alice finally pushes Ismael to Erwann, and he and Ismael end-up together. Ta daa! End of movie. Fin.
I gotta move to Paris. |
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Posted by osulaw2 on 2008-04-07 19:17:54 | Rating: | Views: 68
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