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onlythetruth's Blogs in February 2009

Empty inside!!!!!!
So here it is, Ive cracked. I now feel completely empty, cant say anymore than that. Cant cry, Im out of tears. Last night I spent most of the evening on my phone trying to convince my brother not to kill himself. It was the worst conversation Ive ever have had to have in my life so far.......Read More

Posted on: 2009-02-01 13:29:39 | Rating:

| Views: 63 | Comments: 2 | Tags: empty sad lonely giving up life suicide family

Free falling into a pit of despair....
If my brother trying to kill himself last weekend was bad enough, turns out Im never speaking to my mum again. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing because she treats me like crap anyway. She practically ruined my childhood.... I just cant believe how she turned on me in order to make......Read More

Posted on: 2009-02-06 14:57:47 | Rating:

| Views: 38 | Comments: 1 | Tags: life hate feelings lost confused despair sadness

Slowly dying!
I dont even cry anymore.... I'm sat here and I feel so so sad and its almost like I want to cry, may even need to, but something is stopping me. Instead I find myself staring off into space....... Why does all this stuff keep happening to me? Why after so many years am I back in this place......Read More

Posted on: 2009-02-08 06:11:26 | Rating:

| Views: 44 | Comments: 0 | Tags: lost life confused isolation

Nightmare
NIGHTMARE Have you ever wished you could disappear, just fade into the sky Wish you didn't exist, without having to die Death brings pain and misery, which I don't wish to cause I want to fade from memory Never seen, Never born Some say easy is boring, which they don't wish......Read More

Posted on: 2009-02-08 15:49:25 | Rating:

| Views: 36 | Comments: 1 | Tags: poem nightmare lonely feelings

The answer
THE ANSWER Questions need answers Answers keep us safe But I've been looking for too many answers and now it needs some space! The question seems so distant, a memory I can't reach How can you answer what a teacher can not teach? You walk around forever, just searching for the......Read More

Posted on: 2009-02-08 15:53:22 | Rating:

| Views: 45 | Comments: 2 | Tags: poem life feelings confusion

Drinking to forget how lost and alone I feel.....
I know that getting drunk isn't going to make anything better but I can't help it. I'm so sick of it all and when I'm drunk its easier to block it out. Problem is when I'm drunk, thats when I'm a danger to myself. Last week on my day off I got so drunk, I then lost it and broke down, couldn't......Read More

Posted on: 2009-02-15 06:46:39 | Rating:

| Views: 53 | Comments: 1 | Tags: sad life depressed lonely

Finally cracked!!!!
So its happened, was bound to eventually but Ive cracked. Couple of nights ago I was in my flat on my own. I got really drunk and I felt so trapped. I couldnt see away out, I started trashing the place and then I turned on my self. I had to call one of my friends in the end because I......Read More