As soon as I know what I am talking about, I know absolutely nothing.  I'm starting to see that just as soon as I think I've made sense of something it changes into something else.  No two days are the same even when I do the exact same things.  One day I am calm and serene and the next day the very things that didn't bother me the day before are threatening to take away what sanity and understanding I thought I had finally achieved.  That's when I try to sit down and take a moment to pray and be still.  This is not the easiest thing to do when there are three children (add one friend and now there are four) running around calling my name in what seems like 60 second intervals.  If anyone thinks mothering isn't work, they are insane.  I'd like to see a high powered executive make it in my environment for more than an hour without losing their cool.  What I have learned is that I need some time to myself and for myself throughout the day to be still.  Sometimes it's just a minute but even that will do wonders.  I also realize that in the past I have trained my children to act the way they do.  Everytime they said jump, I jumped, or I want, I got it.  Now I am trying not only to change how I see things but also how they see things.  It is an uphill battle at times that could shake even the sturdiest of mountains.  Even so I think I am doing really well by not reacting to their every outburst when I don't jump the minute they think I am supposed to.  Slowly, we are learning together.  Even though they are very young there are some things that even they can solve on their own if I let them.  I also just got through reading the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle.  I found it to be a real eye-opening book and I am trying to take his words to heart and live in the present.  I especially found great meaning in the idea that "I am not my story" and I am constantly aware of whenever my mind takes me back to re-living the past and I'm able to stop it right then and there.  Since most of my depression came from mulling over my failures and mistakes (I thought that was who I was), I am now finding myself alot happier. I want to be a presence through which God can shine good into the world.  I don't need to know how it will happen tomorrow.  I just have to let it happen right now in whatever situation I find myself, even if that is only folding someone else's laundry.