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I'm 14, blonde, 5'7, 120 lbs (for now) && a blooming anorexic. Here's my life, as it happens.
I have never, ever had a problem with my weight, I used to be the one that could never get fat, the one who's aunt slipped an extra doughnut onto their plate at thanxgiving. i'm fairly active, dance, karate, && other things like student council, drama club, choir, football && soccer games, parties, babysitting, friends, relationships, && just plain school keep me really busy. But recently, i can see the thin me changeing. Call it stress, call it life, there's no excuse. I call it lack of self control. && i hate myself for it. i've always known that the job of parents is to be harsh, for our own good, but recently, their words have gotten cruely truthful. things like "you're eating again?!?" && "you're eating wayyy to much lately" echo in my ears as i hide the tears && put back the animal crackers.
My worst nightmares were realized yesterday, in the kohls dressing room, when I tried on a pair of size 5 long, So jeans, && was horritied. They were too tight in the thighs. 5s! i had fit into 3s just a month ago. I swallowed the tears, fixed my eyeliner, && moved out of the pants section. That when i decided, i'm not going to let potato chips rule my life anymore. i used to be beautiful, i can get there again. so right here, right now, 9:02 pm, Sunday October 12th, i'm taking back ME. my body, my life, my boyfriend, they're my inspiration. this blog, my drawings, music, sports, they're my support, && the rubberband, just snug enough around my wrist to remind me of the stinging consiquences of failure, is my best friend. hunger is my worst enemy. i'll update you tommorow. wish me luck,
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A five is a perfectly acceptable size. I wish I were a size five. I can tell you that I am an 8 or a 10 and my boyfriend finds my beautiful. Do you think maybe you are taking others words too harshly?
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-10-12 23:28:34
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You ARE beautiful, but you must stay strong because no matter what your size is, if you are not comfortable in your own skin, you will be miserable. I just became annorexic a few days before you did, so if you need any advice or encouragement, don't be shy. Just remember that you want to do this the "smart" way, not the stupid way and I like the rubber band idea.
Goodluck.
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Posted by AristaMorel
on 2008-10-13 10:27:42
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| Views: 81
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