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| The Little Peruvian That Could |
Saturday I went down to BPT for my (hopefully) last tattoo appointment. I was mildly late but luckily the shop was late too. the only other problem was that my appointment was for Halloween. WTF. Even the owner thought it was strange. "Yea you definitely came in here and said for the 31st, I thought it was for something significant." There it was anyway, in the book. The 31st. So I subconciously decided to finish 'Salvation in Death" on All Hallows Eve. Wonderful. Maybe I'll be granted supernatural powers when it's done!
Plan B. No not Planned Parenthood. I'm not going through that again! Plan B was to get my mom or dad to take me to Ikea so I could get a sofa for my pad. Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you feel about spending time with your father) my father was at my mom's hauling trash away. He had his Ford Explorer and his Peruvian man servant Julian. Seriously, this guy practically remodeled my father's home. He doesn't speak any English to boot. So The Butler, pops and I head to Ikea, but true to tradition we make 72 pit stops along the way including a scrapyard. Finally two hours after we leave we arrive in New Haven...
Moron, I mean dad, leaves his phone in the car and has Julian go retrieve it. Meanwhile him and I are arguing over which loveseat to buy. I want the white one for $150, he favors a smaller dark grey one because it's the opposite of what I want. Michael, a store associate, stands awkwardly by. After ten minutes of furious deliberation I win, (obviously because he who is paying has the last say) and I noticed Julian has not come back yet. We go out to the parking lot and back up to Living Rooms and can't find him. I'm about to start asking if anyone has seen a Peruvian hobbit (he's short and was wearing a long green raincoat) looking lost, when we spot him. He says he got lost but found a Mexican who gave him directions. Oh the irony.
We reach the marketplace when I see some really nice fern plants on sale for $12.99. They were pretty large but as I went to grab one Julian stops me and tells my dad that they're all infected with a rot. Actually, he explains, all the plants at Ikea are dying except the yucca trees, so I got one of those. This guy is good! Eventually we make it back to my place and Julian magically assembles the sofa in record time. I didn't ask him to do it, he just did! Clearly we need to hire more immigrant workers like this guy, screw affirmative action. Make it immigrant action. The country's infrastructure will be fixed by next year for less than a million.
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Posted by nroman627 on 2009-10-26 07:58:28 | Rating: | Views: 14
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