Thoughts.com Blogs - some random title

so honestly im not happy. i feel like ive been pretending to be happy just so i dont have to explain whats wrong. i havent had to use this "mask" in a long time but i just dont want to deal with people being in my business. i used to have many "masks" but i stopped using them a long time ago because i found someone who i didnt have to wear them around but right now just feels like a time where i have to wear it. i guess habits are hard to break. its just easier to pretend to be happy but i know its not good to hide my emotions and keep them bottled up. its not like i dont have people to talk to about this, if i really needed to talk i know i have friends but the one person who i really want to talk to i cant even communicate with right now. i thought that my boyfriend was being stupid again and just not calling but he texted me yesterday and what he said really has me worried. what ive gathered from it is hes in a lot of trouble with his parents particularly his dad but i dont know what he did, well actually i dont know anything. i think his dad made it where my boyfriend cant receive calls/ texts but he can make them because yesterday he texted me and i tried to call him and it wouldnt go through all it did was make the noise like the line was busy which i know for a fact that it wasnt. see i asked my mom if you can do that to a cell phone and she really didnt know and ive tried asking people around school but they didnt know either. does anyone on here know? i mean its the only thing that makes sense considering ive been trying to call him for days and its been doing the same thing and like i said i know for a fact that its not busy. im really worried because i know how his dad is. hes bipolar and when he doesnt take his medication he goes a little physco and i know my boyfriend and his dad have gotten into physical fights so im afraid something serious is going to happen. in one of the texts i got my boyfriend said he would be leaving in 4 months and that he promised he would see me then which is what weve been talking about for over a year but something tells me i wont be talking to him until then. that is seriously going to drive me crazy especially if i go that long without knowing what the hell is going on. i guess all i can do is what he asked me to do, pray for him. i just hope his dad doesnt emotionally scar him for life. i just wish there was some way for me to tell him that i love him, im thinking about him, and that it will all be over soon.

if you have any info about blocking a cell phone from receiving calls then please let me know.

-notyouraveragegirl-