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just me

Through my life I've had more downs than ups. Traveled all over the USA up to the age of 30 being like a nomad looking and learning but not really wanting to remain in one single location during my existense on this planet. Decided at one time hey why not just be this way. have no real family. No wife or one to really have a good relationship with thus when it comes to every day things just might give it up then go on to something new or different. Had seen a few places which were intersting. Many cities were either over grown with crime along with groups of individuals who are deemed unworthy of being human nor was there anything more interesting in here which was nice butthenmight just ask what in the world is nice if one cannot find it really.

I came into this existense as a small fragile human. Naked, cold, maybe scared, screaming bloody murder like most newly arrived infants wanting to be warm plus loved. It did not really occur to me who my legal care taker was nor did I really have the opportunity to say yep I'll take them as they seem nice. I was very small remember. Fragile! Needing immediate attention thus who will actually care at this. It wa sjust a matterof knowing who will be there and look after just me.

Once when I came home told my so called parent, "oh it's just me." Response might of been oh really nice go to your room do your home work and be good. It is just me doing the normal thigs a kid might encounter in a world full of misgiving jerks who prey on those who have much less than they do. In the end it was just me who did what was possible while only doing the possible.

Just me growing up in a home filled with more bitterness than can be totally thought of but yet who in their right mind woud see clearly we need something. Just me striving to make a few bucks then move on to something new or better then see what happens in the end. Ok so this seems to work, right? Wrong! Dead wrong! No one does care really although they just might try and show some good in this. One needs to be more Aware of his surroundings while at the same time be more aware that life is full of things which canbe more dangerous to our health a=than anything else in this universe. So it was and still remains the problem in which I try to survive. Just me here so do you care? Just me who needs something but just what is so hard to understand while trying to figureout jsut what is what and to what extent it becomes to us.

Just me going through the stages all young and innocent individuals go through. No one there to guide me or show me which path to take on my encounter with the world. It is just me who must decide how to go on while hoping that each decision will be the right one. Just me doing the job assigned me ths hoping to get something rewarding in return. Just me in knowing that for each day i strive to accomplish what is expected have done so in the best possible manner then go on in life to do more than expected but receive nothing more and nothing less in return. It was just me trying to be a good person growing up in my home with those whom had little more interest in than a slow moving turtle crossing the highway of life. Just me ina cramed home filled with siblings tat neither cared or showed any form of interest. Just me who had a paper route in the early morning thinking that I can earn a few dollars and becoe happy. Just me then who was filled withunknowns plus a few growing up difficulties of the day. So it was more dificult in seeing what was as comapred to what is. What is was the fact that it wa sjust plain difficult in dealing with life but strove on to become what I am today.

Just me at one time being married. This was a real joke and regretted it from the second day on but then found well better try to work things out and se what can be rectified in doing so. It was just me in the end terminating the union which caused me so much harm and misery. Yep I was hurt emotionaly and physically but then no one came to my relief to help. Had to figureout on my own what was goig to happen as to how long it will take then go on to see what did take place. Had to realize well it is still just me.

Posted by norm4u2 on 2009-10-09 09:59:57 | Rating: