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| Devil's Advocate or Shoulder Angel
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I feel so bad for my brother. He is just tormented by decisions and unstable ground about his future and what he wants to do with his life. He is 26 years old and has a really hard time deciding anything for himself. He always takes "polls" with his closest friends and family to see what to do when confronted with a decision such as whether or not to move in with his girlfriend of nearly three years. He called me today before i went to class and was just so sad and depressed because he feels bad for moving in with her before they are married. He said that even two days ago, he felt fine with it. But that all changed really fast when he talked to his best friend and our oldest brother. It's like he had either made up his mind that he wasn't bothered by the co-habitating (neither is his girlfriend) or was just being a little rebel at heart. I tried my best to encourage him and tell him that I don't judge him or her and I don't believe God will curse him due to a living situation. He just sounded so distraught; it really bothered me. It started making me wonder: how wrong can you go with the right person? Is living together pre-marriage license really grounds for an unsettled conscience, or is society a watchdog for what is right and what is wrong? I guess there are alot of things I wonder about that might make the old me cringe easily and the new me kind of shrug. God, I just didn't want to destroy him or her and especially not them! I simply told him that the issues run much deeper than he realizes and that he definitely should face all his fears. He doesn't want to do anything but play baseball. He doesn't want to get married yet, which I kind of understand because we are both kindred spirits, but we both want to marry who we're with. The worst part of all this is that they are renting a 5 bedroom house and it's just the two of them. He said he would never just drop her like that and run off leaving her to stay alone at the house by herself. I just feel really bad because they have only been there for two days and now he is saying he wants out. I just told him to talk to her and be completely honest with one another. I know that God is more important than people but God doesn't ask you to do something or convict you of something unless he has provided a way out. Even if you leap on faith, God sets a net. Part of me really thinks that he is just reacting the same way he always does--second guessing every decision. The only makes me feel like the devil's advocate since I (and strangely enough, my grandmother!) are the only ones saying it's ok for them to live together at thios point in time. The whole reason it happened is because she recently graduated and found a job near my other brother since they all hang out alot. The only options for them were to do the very long distance thing ( at least 300 miles) or move up there together. I think all around, he is just unhappy with his lot in life since baseball is not in it. I tried to get him to go back to school, but his after market car debt drowned him. Now he is jobless and barely has a cent to his name. Poor guy. I just hope he is happy and they figure out what is best for them and their Christian walk. I'm still in the gray about the whole thing because I just feel like at 26, he should at least propose so that people would turn their noses down a little and the heat would be a little less. He really lacks drive desperately and I tried to tell him that the only person who can change his path is him. He has to make a conscience decision to either pursue school, face his demons both about marriage and his career and go boldly into the future. I just hate seeing him paralyzed by fear. It paralyzes me.
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Posted by ninjanann on 2008-01-07 19:30:31 | Rating: | Views: 119
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You sound like a very wonderful sister...Your brother just needs to know that whatever will make him happy is what he should do....Has he never been allowed to make his own desicions growing up?
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Posted by Hollis
on 2008-01-12 10:44:13
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Hmmmm....actually, not really. My mom kind of did everything for him so when she died, he floundered to the place he is now.
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Posted by ninjanann
on 2008-01-14 13:37:53
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