I woke up this morning with this eneasy feeling....like something big was on the horizon and I didn't know what it was. I had a rough go with the kids this morning, not wanting to get out of bed, not feeling well...etc etc. I went on with my weird morning but couldnt' shake the feeling that something was up. I showered and got ready for work although I was supposed to have the day off. I called my ex and that's where the shit beings...
Our conversation started well enough, checking up to see how he was feeling as he was in an accident last week, and he wanted to know how the kids were since they have been sick. After the entire conversation was about over and I was telling him I would call him by Monday and let him know what my plans were for that day....he says to me, "I don't know if the feelings you're having about something impending are about this, but I am moving back to Ohio to live with my mom, and I am leaving at the end of the month." After a few un-happy comments etc etc...I told him if his mom wanted to see the kids while she was here, that they could come over and see them, but I wanted him to tell his mom about Andy being here so she wasn't shocked by this when she arrived. He said "so Andy is staying until the New Year?" I replied with "no Patrick he is moving in here." He goes on to ask a couple of random questions, and then says to me that he guesses it's a good thing since the kids will have a dad here they won't need him. WTF?!?!? I was istantly angry, how could you walk away from your kids like that and think for one second that it would just be ok? Those are you CHILDREN!!! Needless to say the rest of that conversation was a blur. By the time I hung up with him, I was left with this feeling....besides the anger that feeling was still there that something was happening. I called my mom, talked with her, told her about my morning...and she asked me, well honey, after talking to Pat do you still have that feeling of something big happening soon? I had to think and just kinda breathe a little, but it was still there....
I had so hoped that the feelings I was having were about Andy, I have wanted him here so bad and for so long now....I was trying so hard not to get my hopes up, as neither of us had a good idea of what day exactly he would be leaving. I haven't been able to get ahold of him much lately...as I posted in my last blog. I told my mom I needed to go I wanted to try and call Andy and see what was going on there. I checked my myspace page, etc etc, and there were a couple of hits to the page from Arizona, Mesa and Scottsdale to be exact, but he lives in niether of those places. I called his phone and it was off...so I putzed around the house a little longer, and then tried to call him back again, and this time instead of the phone rining and going to voicemail I got his ringback...and he picked up the phone. : ) I was so happy to hear his voice after the morning I had just survived, and all I needed was an "I love you hon" to make me smile. I started telling him about the events of the day so far, and we talked about Pat's comment regarding the kids, and he again told me that it would be ok, he would love to be thier dad. I was almost in tears when I started telling him abuot how I had been feeling all morning, and how much I had hoped that the impending "something" would be him coming home. That's when the love of my life, blew me away!!!
As I was about in tears, totaly upset from this fight with genious, he say to me as calmy as he can, well honey, I think you'r feeling was about me, cause I'm leaving. I was totaly blown away, almost speechless!!! I said what do you mean you're leaving? Like right now? He said well not right now, but I am headed into the office to get the money from Mike, and then I'm going home to start loading the truck, as he has had everything packed for more than a week now. SO...he's leaving Friday morning, and he should be here by the time I get home from work Sunday!!!!!! I am SOOOOOO thrilled, I can't sleep, I'm barely eating again, and I can't believe he will be here this weekend!!!
For all of you who may read this regularly, I will not be around SUnday, Monday and Probably Tuesday while I enjoy having my Andy here!!! As soon as things settle in a bit, I will post something and let you all know how the homecoming I have been waiting for for the last 3 months goes!!!
I hope all of you have a wonderful rest of your week...and weekend!!!!
Hugz~Niki
