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Nervous

I should probably bitch in blocks. Things will come out in a clearer manner.

Friends...
1. We are young... lets live it up. Why should we stay inside every fucking night? You don't need anymore friends, you say. Hell yes you do! Everyone needs more friends. Why be so fucking anti-social. Jesus.
2. Your sig other is not your property. You dont need to tell them what, when, and how to do something.
3. Being with someone should mkae you want to open up, not shut down. If you cant bring your sig other around your friends, you are either ashamed of your choice in friends, ashamed of your sig other, or just a fucking idiot.
4. If I had a car, I'd pick your ass up, instead of making you pay $15 for a cab. "Hey, come out!" "Ok, but it'll be awhile... I've got to call a cab." "Ok, we'll be here." HELLO, FUCKING SELFISH BASTARDS! In high school I drove most of your asses around on a daily fucking basis. Jesus!
5. Offer to pay once in awhile. Seriously. I pay all of the goddamn time. I know, I am a nice person... but the niceness is running out, not to mention my bank account!
6. Not everything is about you. If I am telling a story, dont butt in a tell me how you once were in a similar situation. And if you have to run your fucking mouth, wait until I am finished. Your life isn't the end all be all of everything.
7. Stop fucking everyone then saying you like them. Ok, if you really liked them you wouldn't fuck all of their friends too. Also, sex is sex. It isnt a life changing thing.
8. Don't bitch about how shitty your life is then do nothing to change it. More often than not you are in a situation because you put yourself there!
9. I am not now an alcoholic. I am in college. I drink on most weekends. However, THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM AN ALCOHOLIC! Christ. Stop trying to make me feel bad about bringing up my dad and how it runs in my family and shit. FUCK!

More specific situation:
I have been in love with the same guy for about 7-8 years. Great guy. A good friend. He would do anything for anyone. Problem: He means WAY more to me than what I mean to him. Or at least that's how it seems. He recently got a girlfriend... the girl? Oh, she just happens to be one of my friends. Yeah, you read correctly. They had never met each other. One night he pulls me into his room asking if I want to see his new girlything. (Of course his fucking hermit self met her on the internet.) He was talking to her on aim... my heart sank. All I could say was, I know her. He freaked, of course. (He also has this thing where he thinks I sabotage all of his relationships because I think he should be with me. One day he will realize it is his own fucked up self that ruins his relationships.) I assured him I would do nothing to cause drama between them. I even invited her over to his apartment so they could meet. (I did this for a few reasons... I wanted to proved to him I was ok with the sitch, I wanted him to see how awkward she was, and I knew they would never meet if I didn't take action.) Of course the awkwardness between them faded, and it found itself popping up between them as an entity and the rest of the group. (We have a very tight-knit group of friends.) Now, about a month into their relationship, the conversations on the first "I love yous" are popping up, talk of their first trists in bed, and the beginning of the end of my relationship with both him and her.

It has long been talked about him liking me. I know he does. Everyone knows he does. Reason we aren't together? Because I am fat. Not morbidly gross obese fatass gross shit... just big. But the thing is, his new gf is big, too. (Not to mention she lets her fucking assfloss hang out all over the place. And she has an extremely annoying voice; she constantly tells stories about being an RA.... GOD!!!!!!) I think he is scared. He knows his new gf is moving away in 4 months and that things between them will dissipate. WHO FUCKING KNOWS??!?!?!?!??!?!??!

Might I mention that his new gf is/was comepletely obsessed with me. All over my nuts on a constant basis. She knows I am fucking pissed that she is with him. She used to rape me with texts/calls/ims/facebook messages on a unusually regular basis... now, nothing. She knows I want to fucking kill her. Not really kill her. Just fuck her up a little bit. I am usually not like this. It just really pisses me off that all of the times I talked about him (her new bf/the object of my love), she always told me to go for it. Now, how can I heed that advice when that cunt fucking swooped in?

I'm sure more will pour out later.............