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uncertainty

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I have come to the realization that being a grown up and having to make decisions absolutely sucks. I am stuck in a position that i can't seem to figure out. I basically have to choose between happiness and money. I can move to missouri and be happy with the people i am around or i can continue to live in this hell hole that i am in and get an amazing job offer that would double my yearly income. Instead of making shit in missouri i could stay here and make 40,000 a year without a college degree or anything. I am torn because i know that i will never get another job opportunity like this for the rest of my life. and i am only 20. Money problems would no longer be a worry. Things would be so much better as far as money goes....but would i really be happy???? Honestly i don't know...and thats what is so fucking difficult!!! My heart is in missouri....i really feel that is where i need to be....I actually know what decision i am going to make, its just when i think about it and how much i am losing by trying to obtain happiness i am starting to wonder if it is even worth it to be happy. But then i think about how unsure life is. Shit happens all the time, I'm not guarenteed that everything would end up working out with my job. So why give up the opportunity to be happy for something that i'm not sure will even go through. Ok now this is just rambling and confusing. But i just needed to get it all out. I don't really have anyone to talk about it to so i needed to find an alternate source. Its kinda weird but i actually do feel a lot better now that i let it out in writing.
I wonder....i'm sitting in starbucks writing this....and i wonder how many people in life and sincerely happy anyways. There are quite a few people in here and everyone looks like they are fine.....but then again....i probably look fine to a lot of people too. I would guess that 80% of the people in this world are not sincerely happy with their lives. It probably somewhere close to that.
THe age of 20 is seriously the worst age ever. Its like being stuck in a phase of life where you literally can't do anything. Yeah you can legally smoke and get into some bars but who the fuck cares about that. When all of your friends and everyone around you in 21 and you can't ever hang out with them or do anything what is the point?? Its such a pointless age!!!
Well i'm done for now....i'm gunna go and have my last cigarette of the night.

Posted by neverlettinggo143 on 2008-01-16 20:23:43 | Rating:

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THE WAY THE ECONOMY IS AT THIS POINT IN LIFE, I'LL SETTLE FOR THE JOB.IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE TRUE FRIENDS THEY WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU. THE JOB MARKET IS SO BAD RIGHT NOW, SOME PEOPLE WILL KILL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET A JOB PAYING $40,000, WITHOUT HAVING A DEGREE. YOUR ARE A WOMAN NOW AND A WOMAN HAVE TO MAKE COMPLICATED DECISION, DOING WHAT YOU GOT TO DO AND NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. DOING THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE TO DO IS SOMETHING LIKE GETTING A BEATING FROM YOUR PARENTS WHEN YOU WAS LITTLE, THE MORE YOU RAN FROM YOUR PARENTS THE WORST THE BEATING GOT, WHEN YOU STOOD THERE AND TOKE YOUR LICKS IT'S WASN'T THAT BAD AND IT DEFINETLY DIDN'T LAST THAT LONG. SO, THE MORAL TO THE STORY IS, "THE MORE YOU FIGHT IT THE WORST IT'S GOING TO GET." STOP GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN AND TAKE THE JOB, THEN FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE ABOUT THE SITUATION YOU'RE IN AND FOCUS ON THAT. TIME TO BE A WOMAN NOW,TIME TO MAKE A WOMAN DECISION. THINGS COULD BE WORST. A YEAR FROM NOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO FAR AHEAD OF YOURSELF JUST BY MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION OF ACCEPTING THE JOB OFFER. "GOOD LUCK, AND GOD BLESS."

Posted by jefferyalen on 2008-01-16 20:57:33

I'll agree, 20 is a hard age to be. I'm not for wasting words, so let me share what I discovered. Money can't buy you happiness, but it can sure contribute to it. In the end, the decision is yours. Good luck.

Posted by happydayone1 on 2008-01-16 23:29:54

fuck money. we're so corrupted into thinking money is what we must always strive for. Nobody is constantly content, but to be around loved ones - friends and family in a place you can call 'home.' You can't put a price on that. There will always be more job oppurtunities, don't let this blind you. We all die pennyless anyway. Have fun :)

Posted by Soren on 2008-01-17 05:28:25