SO I WROTE YOU THIS IMAGINARY LETTER
A REAL ATTENTION GETTER,BUT IMAGINARY MOMMY
WON'T READ IT SHE'S FAR TO CONCEATED.
SO ABOUT THESE BLOGS I POST,NOT VIEWED BY MANY
IGNORED BY MOST,BUT THATS NOT REASON FOR WRITING,ITS INNER DEAMONS FESTERING AND BITING,AND I HAVE TO GET THEM OUT
BEFORE THEY RIP THEMSELVES OUT AND GO LURKING AND BLEEDING INTO OTHER PARTS OF MY LIFE,TOO LATE THEY HAVE ALEADY TAKEN HOSTAGE,MY EMOTIONAL STATE.
AND HOWS IT WITH YOU,I NO MISERABLE AS ALWAYS,YES I'M A DISAPPOINTMENT
YES I RUINED YOUR LIFE FOR BEING BORN,GREAT MEATLOAF MA,WHAT SEASONING DID YOU USE.
WORK IS GREAT YOU KNOW I GOT A PROMOSION,
WHATS THAT OH,YES I KNOW THEY WILL FIRE ME AS SOON AS THEY REALIZE HOW FUCKED UP I AM,MOM WHY SO MEAN.NO I AM NOT YELLING,OKAY I WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, WEEK I FEEL AFTER OUR INTERACTIONS,EVEN IF I KNOW THAT YOUR VIEWS ARENT COMING FROM O PLACE OF SANITY
IT CANT HELP FROM NOCK ME OF BALANCE
SET ME INTO A SPIN,TURN ME INTO THAT LITTLE CHUBY 6 YEAR OLD AFRAID OF EVERYTHING THAT MOVES.I regret that we are not close,i reget not being the best daughter,and being wrapped up in my own pain,i i hate that our relationship is strained at best and could be nuch better,but we get in the way and i love you so much and hate your behavior but you feel the same with me and your childhood trama i shall never make light of,i just wish we could see the light in eachother,and stop the suffering we punish ourselves and be loving,fuck loving,at least be civil be human humane,why all this drugery of what i thought i was at terms with stop it stop and think right mindfullness,right views,listen carfully then how you walk.
I PRIDE MYSELF IN MY SUCCESS,WHAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED,THE PEOPLE I SURROUND MYSELF WITH.BUT I AM STILL THAT GIRL WONDERING WHY IT ALL HAPPENED YOU MUST OF HAD A REASON TO HAVE ME
OTHER THAN BREATHING,BEING A ,WELL THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS WE PLANNED PEOPLE GET HURT BRIGDES BURN HOUSES CRUMBLE FAMILIES FALL APART.
WHEN AND IF I CHOOSE TO HAVE A CHILD I WILL BE A GREAT MOTHER,I AM A GREAT AUNT,
I LOVE YOU,I HATE WHO YOU HAVE BECOME,I LOVE ME I HATE WHAT I have DONE TO MYSELF.i love you mommy i am sorry
GOD BLESS.