sO I GET A CALL LAST NIGHT FROM MY YOUNGER BROTHER,HE TELLS ME HE IS JUST CALLING TO TELL ME HE LOVES ME,BECAUSE HE JUST TOOK 4 EXTASCY PILLS AND IS NOT SURE IF HE WILL LIVE.HE THEN TELLS ME OF A SUICIDE ATTEMPT HE MADE,THAT LED TO A STINT IN THE HOSPITAL THAT HE TOLD NO ONE ABOUT,IT WAS OVER HIS GIRLFRIEND WHO LEFT HIM,HE GOT STICHES AND EVERYTHING AND NEVER TOLD A SOUL.
I'M WORRIED I'M CRYING,CAUSE 3 HOURS PRIOT TO THIS I WAS TOLD THAT MY MOTHER WHO IS 68 YEARS OF AGE,WITH HEART FAILURE,HAS TO HAVE A COMPLETE HYSTERECTOMY BECAUSE TO SAVE HER LIFE.I NOW FIND MY SELF PARALIZED,STARING AT THE WALL,I TRY TO READ A BOOK,GO THROUGH 20 PAGES AND DON'T REMEMBER A WORK I READ.
MY BROTHER IS REALLY MY NEPHEW,MY MOTHER ADOPTED MY 2 NEPHEWS FROM MY CRACK ADDICTED SISTER WHO ABUSED THEM SEVERLY,NOW THEY HAVE ISSUES,AND CHILDHOOD TRAUMA,THEY CAN'T SEEM TO ESCAPE. I CALL HIM BACK,LET HIM NO THAT I UNDERSTAND SEVERE DEPRESSION,AND THAT HE HAS SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR ,HE GROWS SILENT AND STARTS TO CRY WICH IN TURN MAKES ME CRY.
A WEEK BEFORE ALL THIS HAPPENED,I WAS WATCHING MY NIECE,SHE IS A TRUE HEAVEN SENT,SHE GOES THROUGH ALOT,MY SISTER IS A HER MOTHER,MY SISTER IS A GOOD MOTHER,BUT SHE HAS TO TEND TO STOP HERSELF FROM REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKES MY MOTHER DID,SHE TRIES DESPERATLEY TO CHANGE HER LEARNED AND ILL CONSEIVED BEHAVIOR.
ANYWAY WERE WAS I,YEAH SO WE ARE DANCING TO HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IN HER APARTMENT,I'M BABYSITTING HER,AND I HERE A KNOW AT THE DOOR(THEY LIVE IN AN APARTMENT COMPLEX)IT'S THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR,SHE I PEEK THROUGH THE PEEP HOLE,SHE DOESN'T LOOK HER USUAL SELF,HER HAIR IS MATTED,SHE ISN'T WEARING A BRA,AND SHE HAS A MASSIVE,(WHAT LOOKED TO BE SELF INFLICTED BURN MARK ACROSS HER CHEEK) I SAY "WHAT DO YOU WANT"SHE SAYS"THERE ARE DEMONS IN THIS COMPLEX,GET OUT"FOLLOWED BY SOME OTHER CRAZY RANDOM BULLSHIT,WHICH I WILL SPARE YOU OF THE DETAILS.I CALL THE POLICE,SHE SCARED MY NIECE,MY ANGER HAS REACH THE BOILING PIONT,MY NIECE IS VERY SENSITIVE,AT THIS PIONT I DON'T CARE IF SHE IS SPHYTZO,MY MOM WAS,SO I UNDERSTAND,BUT IT REOPENS WOUNDS,I THOUGHT WERE SEALED.
THE POLICE TELL ME THEY ARE ON THERE WAY,WE GET DRESSED TO LEAVE,WE TAKE THE ELEVATOR TO THE LOBBY,AND THERE SHE IS SHOUTING HORRIFIC TALES,I TELL "DON'T EVER FIX YOUR MOUTH TO SCARE MY NIECE AGAIN,BECUASE I CAN'T PROMISE YOU NEXT TIME I WILL BE CIVIL,SHE SAYS"I'M SORYY,AND CONTINUES HER RANT.
MY SISTER,A COUNSELOR AND FORMER PROBATION OFFICER,THEN COMES IN AND TRIES TO TALK HER DOWN,BUT SHE JUPMS AT HER,THE POLICE TAKE HER AWAY.
WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY,WHY DO THINGS HAPPEN WITH NO RYHME OR REASON,WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL,WHY IS THE WORLD SO HARMFUL TO CHILDREN.I WROTE TO GET THIS OUT OF ME,BUT IT DIDN'T WORK.
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