Thoughts.com Blogs - That's It?!!?

Today has been one of the worst days I've had in a really long time. I can't stop crying, and I haven't left my room all day. On top of Jim moving without seeing him 1 more time, my mom is mad at me. She lectured me today (you think she would give the lecturing a break on Mother's Day) about my life. She thinks I need to grow up and blah blah blah. So the fact she is disappointed in me bums me out even more.

I sent Jim a text tonight saying, "Well, it sucks I didn't get to say bye to you, but good luck in California. Call me anytime you want....like when you realize that no other girl will compare to me haha I'm going to miss you big time." All he said back was, "Thanks it was fun. We had some good times...a lot of late nights." That's it!! That's all he said.....after all of that, that's all he says to me before he moves?! I can't get over it. I can't believe he didn't want to see me one last time especially after Friday night. I don't think I have ever hurt this much over a guy. All day I have been crying on and off, haven't touched 1 piece of food, I want to throw up, and it just feels like I can't breathe. Then Mark just called me for the 100th time today, and I finally answered and just completely told him off. I'm not in the mood for him right now. I really feel like I am being punished or something for breaking Mark's heart, so now mine gets broken in return. What sucks even more is I have to work 9 hours tomorrow......I'm going to look like such crap! My eyes are already puffy from crying. I just can't believe that I'm never going to get to see him again, kiss him again, or anything. None of my friends understand either. They look at me like I'm crazy for crying over him......like it was just some not-a-big-deal fling. They don't understand what went on between him and I when it was just us. I know I'll eventually get over him, but I know that I don't want anything to do with any guy for a long time. They are not going to compare to him whatsoever. I wish I would have had the same effect on him as he did on me...