Thoughts.com Blogs - Sorry Doesn't Cut It

Brett came over and fixed my car tonight....well, fixed what he could....it is still messed up, but not as bad as it was. Well, I needed a drink after Brett left, because of the stressful week I had with my car, the interviews I had, and the talk I was supposed to have with Jim. So, I called Kimmy and I told her that I needed to have a couple....so she told me to just come over with a 6 pack. Around 9:30 I sent Jim a text asking him if 10:30 was good for our talk. He responded that he couldn't do it tonight. Well, that pissed me off beyond belief, so I said, "Well, just forget the whole thing then." He said his usual, "Relax", which made me even more angry, so I said, "I'm fine. I just don't want to waste my time on someone who can't even spare 10 minutes for me...it's not worth it." He said, "Oh stop. I have a friend over." So I said, "Well, that is why I told you to call me and let me know instead of me deciding. It's not a big deal....if it's not important to you then it's not important to me." He said back, "Come on, you know I care." I told him, "No, I really don't know. I am normally more laid back than this, but you don't understand how hard this was for me. I don't like knowing that I care more." He told me he was sorry, and I said, "It's fine. I'm over it. Have fun your last few days here and I hope California turns out good for you." He never said anything back, and I started drinking more, so an hour later I sent him another text saying, "Well, I can't sleep, and I wanna know exactly what you are sorry for....for tonight or for leading me on?" I never got a response back. I wish I would have just left it as it was with my, "hope everthing in Cali turns out good" text. I'm a drunk dumbass though. I don't even want to tell him how I feel anymore, because I believe actions speak louder than words....so if he really cared as much as I did, he would have told his friend to hit the road, because he had business to take care of. So, because he didn't do that, he doesn't deserve to hear how I feel about him. Am I being to bitchy about this??