Friday morning I woke up still feeling angry about Jim blowing me off. I talked to Kimmy more about it, and she was telling me how it was wrong and she would be so pissed, blah blah blah. I started thinking....I'm taking advice from a girl who continues to date a jerk?! I put myself in Jim's shoes and thought that he is probably so stressed trying to get everything ready, and trying to see as many friends as he can before he goes. So, I sent him a text telling him I was sorry for being a bitch about it, and that I have just been really stressed lately and that I don't like putting myself out there for someone. I told him I understand he is trying to see as many friends as he can before he leaves. He texted me back saying, "I know. I'm in a tough situation as well."
After work I went over to Jason's and hung out with Kimmy and Tom. We played pool until Jason and Kimmy got tired. Tom and I then went to a bar to play more pool. Tom was wasted out of his mind....it was hilarious. The bar was about to close when I got a text from Jim asking what I was up to, and telling me to come over. I told him I would call him in a little while. It was a task getting Tom home, because he wanted to go drink more.....I was not about to bring him over to Jim's in the condition he was in. I finally got him to his house when Jim called me. He said he had people over and wanted me to come over.
When I got there he came up and gave me a little hug asking how I was. I didn't know anyone down there except for his dad, so I felt a little awkward. I just tried to watch them play pool, but I guess Jim noticed I was uneasy because he came up to me and told me to stop being anti-social and handed me a beer. He was right....I wasn't being myself, so I went up to his dad and started talking to him for awhile. This one kid then came up to me, gave me a big hug and asked how I have been......I had no idea who he was haha. He was drunk and annoying though. He kept hanging on me and hitting my butt....I had to keep telling him to watch his hands. Jim eventually came up to me and I told him that kid was ridiculous. He asked if he was hitting on me, and I told him what he was doing. After that Jim acted really annoyed with the kid. Anytime this kid would come up to me after that, Jim would come up to him and tell him that he needed to calm down because he is getting on his nerves. I eventually got away from him for awhile and went and sat down at the bar. Of course, he came and sat by me though and started talking to me again. Jim called my name and patted the seat next to him, so I went and sat by him. We ended up playing teams again in pool....I was on Jim's dad's team, and Jim and drunk guy were on a team. Jim's dad and I ended up winning....as we always do haha. I was funny, because Jim and his dad started arguing about who taught me better. We played awhile longer and eventually went to bed around 5:30am. While in Jim's room, he wanted to start talking about what I wanted to talk to him about, but I was too scared so I started kissing him. After a minute or two, he told me that we weren't doing anything until I told him. I sat there silent for awhile, trying to find my words and voice. He told me to spit it out, so I asked him how drunk he was last Saturday and if he remembered our conversation we had. He told me he remembered and wasn't that drunk. I asked him if he was serious when he asked me if I was in love with him. He told me he wasn't that serious when he asked, so I said, "Really? So why did you keep asking me then?" He said, "Well, I was halfway serious, because some people fall in love fast." I finally came out with it and said, "Well, I am." He said, "You're in love with me?" I told him that I was, and he said, "I love you too." I laughed and told him to shut up, and he told me that I needed to stop not believing him when he tells me how he feels. He told me that I'm different than any girl he has ever met, and the connection we have is something he has never had before. He said that I was the only person who he can stay up all night with talking to. I agreed......every single time we have hung out, we have never gone to sleep before the sun was rising. He told me that he would love for me to come live with him in California, but he knows that is unrealistic. I didn't say anything.....I didn't know what to say. I wish I would have asked why that wasn't realistic. We started kissing.....it was really sweet, because he kept looking at me in between and then he would brush the hair out of my eyes, and then he would gently grab my face and kiss me. It eventually turned into I-need-to-have-you-right-now making out that led to amazing sex once again. Afterwards, we laid there facing each other talking some more. He grabbed my hand and held it for awhile (we hardly ever hold hands) and then he ruined it because he said, "What could have been...." I told him he was a butthead for saying that. He asked once again if I was going to call him or text him after he moves. I told him I probably was not going to. He asked me why, and I told him, "Because I do that here and you don't respond." He then teased me about Thursday night's freak out. He told me I was really brutal, and then started repeating some of the texts I sent in this mean, crazy voice. I laughed and told him that he can't put tone on a text. He teased me for awhile longer about them, and I just told him I was allowed to have one spaz out, because he has had so many. We then started talking about sex, and I joked that I needed to buy a vibrator after he goes. He said, "Why not just go find another dude?" I told him that I didn't want another guy, and went on to tell him that most guys get on my nerves. He told me that he has never had a girl treat him better than me. I was surprised and said, "Really? Even after my mean text messages last night?" He laughed and said yeah. He said something else, I don't remember exactly what it was, but it had something to do with me telling him how I felt about him, and I said, "Ohhh, don't make me say it again....it was hard enough." I asked him how long he thinks it will take to get over me, and he joked that a couple one night stands will do the trick....I told him to shut up, and he laughed and said, "No, I'm kidding, you know I'm not like that. I don't know how long it will take....how bout you?" I told him that I probably won't. We laid there for awhile longer just messin around....he kept giving me goofy kisses and crap like that. He finally fell asleep around 7:30am....I couldn't....I had to be at work at 9. I laid there for awhile just touching his face and watching him sleep. We were supposed to get breakfast together at 8, but I didn't want to wake him up. So I just snuck out......it was a little awkward, because his mom was up reading the paper when I left. I just said hi to her, she looked surprised, told me good morning and I left. I haven't really officially met her, so that's why it was weird.
Last night, Jason, Kimmy, Dan, Dan's dad, and I all hung out at Dan's house. Jim sent me a text asking me how work was, and I told him a little rough. I also told him that we were at Dan's house if he wanted to stop by later. He said he might later on, because he was going to a friend's house. It was getting late, and I hadn't herad from him....so I sent him a text asking him what he was up to. I never got a text back. Around 2 (when the bars close) I decided to give him a call.....no answer, no call back. I started getting really depressed. I sat outside for awhile crying, because I couldn't believe he didn't want to see me or say goodbye or anything....especially after Friday night. I don't understand it at all! So today, I sent him a text saying, "What happened to you last night? I thought I'd at least get to say goodbye to you. (Not an angry tone by the way haha)". He replied back that he was in bed by 1am because the movers were coming early. I haven't said anything back....I don't know what to say. I am just so confused that he doesn't want to see me 1 last time. I am in bad shape over this......
