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| Breaking up is more than hard to do....
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It's midnight, and I haven't heard from Mark since he hung up on me last night. I'm actually quite surprised, because he ALWAYS calls me. I'm not mad about it, I'm quite relieved; I don't want to talk to him. It'll just be uncomfortable and ackward, because I have decided that I am going to break up with him, once and for all. I feel pretty confident about this decision. Uh-oh.....speak of the devil...........well, now it's almost 2 A.M. That phone conversation sucked! I was going to wait til this weekend until breaking up with him, but I kind of did it on the phone tonight. We were supposed to go to a wedding together, I even took off work for it, and now.....I don't know. He is so upset, and I feel horrible. I told him the reasons why I don't think we should be together, and he kept finding excuses for each one. Or he would say that he'll change. I hate when he says that, because I feel like I should give him a chance to. I also told him that another reason to break up is because he wants me to sign a prenup, and I am against those. I am not the type of person to strip another of all their money, NO MATTER what they did to me. I could never be like those women that go through divorces and want to take everything from their husbands. It hurt me that Mark, after 4 years of knowing me, still wanted one. I see that as a trust issue. I know things happen, and marriages don't always last (my parents divorced before....they are back together now), but it's just not in me to "take em for all they're worth." Also, I see marriage as something special and sacred, not a business deal. I think prenup's cheapen it a little. Anyway, after I told him that he said, "Fine, I won't ask for one." He is doing everything to try to keep me, and it is making it soooo difficult to go through with this break up. I am now second guessing myself. Two hours ago I felt good about it. He really knows how to make me feel horrible.....he kept saying that he has nobody now. I can't force myself to be with him just because I feel bad for him though! I hate this so much; it is definitely those most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I can't imagine how it is/was for those of you that have gone through divorces....that has to be 100 times worse than what I'm going through. Anyway, we hung up agreeing to just get sleep and that we'll talk more later. It sucks, because I know that I'm going to have to take the 2 hour drive to his house to get things that I have left there. Definitely not looking forward to that. I need to get some sleep now, I've have been crying for what seems like all night now......great, puffy eyes in the morning!!
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Posted by nakedtruth on 2008-01-16 03:13:13 | Rating: | Views: 119
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Best of luck! We've all been there. You always second guess yourself in these situations. Just do what's right. Peace.
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Posted by shinsfrommars
on 2008-01-16 11:01:47
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Trust your gut. It will take a few conversations but it will get resolved! Good luck!
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Posted by TheAlreadyJaded
on 2008-01-16 11:59:59
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puffy eyes suck. i think it would be worse if you were in his shoes, cuz being dumped sucks, but you need to stand firm in your thoughts anyway. don't waver, it wont be good for either of you. good luck
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Posted by Arya
on 2008-01-16 23:51:07
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k now that i know the story, good luck when you go get your stuff, be a little selfish now and think of yourself and not his hurt when you see him next, and go have a girls night out with some of your friends! have some fun, and if Mark does keep calling you, make him into a brother friend- if that makes any sense! lol
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Posted by Arya
on 2008-01-17 00:05:15
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