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| "Bang, zoom, right to the moon, Alice!"
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I’m sitting at work, bored. We have a meeting in a little while. They are providing lunch so at least that will distract me at least for awhile. For the last week work has been getting on my nerves. Well, not work as much as the women I work with. The girl that trained me, Tiffany, does not like me. I got a bad vibe off of her the very first day I met her. I told myself that I was just paranoid, but now I am certain she doesn’t care for me. I should be used to girls not liking me by now, but I still get all worked up each time it happens. She has been better towards me lately, but last week she was such a snot! Just some of the comments she made, and the way she said it definitely made me certain she does not like me. I get along great with everyone else so I don’t know what her problem is. She even told my supervisor on me last week when I was hung-over. Granted, I was in the wrong for coming to work in that condition, and not being as productive as usual; however, she didn’t have to “tell on me”. I can’t respect people who worry more about what someone else is or isn’t doing rather than focusing on their own work. Yes, I messed up, but it happens to everyone. I learned my lesson, and am definitely never drinking as much as I did that night during the week ever again. I can’t stand people that act like they are better than everyone else. I’m sorry, but we all put our pants on the same way; EVERYONE makes mistakes. I get so fired up about this, because my ex, Mark, was so self-righteous is made me want to throw up! He was constantly riding around on his high horse, and I always wanted to be the one to knock him off of it. That is one of the reasons we used to fight so much; definitely a toxic relationship. I don’t think I am better than anyone. We have all done stupid, rotten things at one point or another in our life, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.
Anyhow, I am done going off on a tangent about that.
So, it’s Thursday; the end of the week, and I am back to thinking that I am just fine without Jim. This has been happening for awhile now. It’s really a vicious cycle. Sunday, I am pretty giddy, because I spend the day thinking about any conversations I have had with Jim on Friday and Saturday. Monday and Tuesday, my giddiness dissipates, and I become wistful. By Wednesday, I feel a little better, but start getting antsy because I want to talk to him. Then when Thursday rolls around, I feel uneasy and confused; can’t really explain why, hence the confused part. Then when Friday arrives, I feel as if I am ok with not talking to Jim. I even go as far as to suggest to myself that maybe I am getting over him. Yet, at the same time I am nervous, because I am dreading that weekend I don’t hear from him at all. I am afraid the day he stops contacting me is right around the corner; and I dread the heartache that will follow. By Friday night and Saturday, I am back to completely head over heels and missing him like crazy, because we talked and all my feelings for him resurfaced. I really wonder what goes on in his head during the week. I wonder if he goes through the same emotional waves as I do, or is that just a girl thing? I was toying with the idea of sending him a text Monday, because I had a bad day and he always makes me feel better. However, I decided against it, because I feel like I would be bothering him.
I have no idea what is going on this weekend yet. Tomorrow is a full moon, so something interesting/crazy is going to happen. I swear that every time there is a full moon something weird happens or people are just plain goofy. So, I’m excited for tomorrow, because I know something interesting will happen. Watch, now that I said something, nothing will happen; now that would be interesting in itself.
Besides, looking forward to my full moon, I am also hoping that Kimmy and Jason go to his cottage this weekend. I am just annoyed with them (what else is new?) and a break from them for a weekend is much needed. Plus, if they go then we can all relax and have fun at Dan’s house playing pool. What I would love would be to have one last pool night at Dan’s house with his dad and Jim’s dad. I will be really upset if I don’t get to see Jim’s dad or play pool with him before they move. I really believe that if they didn’t sell their house and decided to stay in Alabama that Jim would move back. I don’t see him moving back all by himself, and leaving his family out there. I can’t picture a lot of things though.
Well, I must finish up my work. Hope everyone has a good weekend!
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Posted by nakedtruth on 2008-07-17 16:41:35 | Rating: | Views: 106
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I had a "Tiffany" once. She must have overheard me talking about the possibility of taking off on St. Patrick's Day but I hadn't made up my mind. A few days before, I was in her office and saw "MS (my initials) out" on her calender for 3/17 even though I hadn't requested the day yet. I purposely came in that day just to surprise her.
The emotional waves are so normal - I used to get them with Brian after every date. I would be flying high right afterwards and the next two days, then I would be horribly upset about not knowing when I'd see him again, I would finally feel better and he would get in touch with me and the cycle would begin again. Annoying!! Anyway, maybe you SHOULD text Jim on a Monday or other weekday just so that you can start a routine of weekday and "sober" texting. Just a thought.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-07-17 18:28:00
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I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Meri gives good advice, you probably should text Jim.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-07-17 23:43:52
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I have a "Tiffany" too. They suck!!
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Posted by TheAlreadyJaded
on 2008-07-18 11:07:31
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Thanks guys...I will try to send Jim a sober text this week. I don't know why I am so scared to, and I don't know why we both only contact each other late at night after we have been drinking.
That's funny, Meri, that you came in to surprise her. I would have done the exact same thing! ha
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Posted by nakedtruth
on 2008-07-18 11:48:10
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totally a girl thing with the emotions... and I'm SO there with you right now!
PS I'd text Jim too.
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Posted by otherwoman
on 2008-07-18 22:34:53
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I was thinking, Jim has it to easy. He likes you and knows you like him. He knows you are not out making out with other guys etc. Maybe he needs to "wonder" about it. Let him think you are moving on, don't deny when he asks about other guys. Let him think Crap! She might really get interested in another guy and not care about me any more. I am not saying games but keep him guessing! Just a thought. I know you two belong together Jim just needs to fully realize it to.
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Posted by brenbrad
on 2008-07-19 01:39:07
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Thanks otherwoman and brenbrad for your advice!
Otherwoman-I don't think I'm going to put forth the effort after this past weekend :( Who knows...maybe I'm being a frickin girl again ha
Brenbrad-what if I let him think I moved on and then he decides, "well, fine then...I'll move on too."? I think I'm driving myself crazy ha
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Posted by nakedtruth
on 2008-07-21 00:53:39
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I used to go through the VERY same cycles of thinking im over him and then the next minute we talked, I'd have fallen deeper in love :)
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-07-31 08:54:34
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