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| Things I thought about during Yoga
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I just had an interesting yoga day today. Yoga is very weird in a very delicate way. It can change everything in you, your body, your thoughts even your emotion. So, today, after work, I was carrying this load of anger with me. I don't know where it's coming from but I think it's mostly from work. I had a meeting where twenty people are talking at the same time and I am the meeting lead. And, then, even worst, is this coworker of mine that can't stop interrupting me for a "side meeting" when I'm trying to listen to the others either. Aarrghhh, just feel like a failure and nobody cares. It seems like I am fighting on my own for their own cause. It just doesn't make any sense, I mean I could careless of the result, it's not obviously going to impact me, it will impact them. It just feels like I'm trying to help but they either don't want help or just think I will magically solve their problems when the problems really arise. I don't understand, why wait. Oh well...but anyway...
Then, I went to yoga. I was really angry and feeling a bit callus. Then, we started. And, there's this weird feeling going through my whole body, touched my soul. And, I know that I'm not giving my 100%, and I sloppily made mistakes in performing the asanas. Then, I had this weird out of body experience, where I am floating and looking at myself doing all these poses. It's really funny because I tend to exaggerate things. Like when I have to stretch my arm up, I am almost doing a jazz hand. Can you imagine? Pizzazzz.....Jazz...hahahahaha...
And, since I have been hiatus for a long time from yoga (please don't judge me, I have been busy and I was sick for a long time), I lost my arm strength or the measly muscles that I had in my arms. So, when I was doing chaturanga (low push up), I kind of just wing it, either just dumped my body on to the floor or faking it by going straight to upward facing dog. Hahaahaha...that's even funnier, because at one time, when I was closing my eyes, I was really convinced I am going to smash my face to the mirror in front of me, and I got a little scared and pull my neck back. That's odd, I thought. My brain can fool me big time. Maybe a good time to start distrusting this little noddle of mine.
On top of that, when we're doing a dancer pose...Ohh this is bad.. I don't want to talk about other people, but I can't help it, there's a huge mirror in front of me. When we're done with one side of dancer, we have to "transition" to the other side. And, this lady behind me starting to do this whole contemporary dance movement. I can help to smile. I can't help it (please don't judge me, again). I just thought is it really necessary. Well, maybe for her, it is. But, for me, I realize when I exaggerate, I am not really adding more to my practice. I just feel like I have to because it looks cool. But, really, it doesn't, it's borderline dorky and geeky. So, with that in mind, my next yoga practice is going to be simple, expressive without exaggeration and will be my own movement. No such things as we gotta do what ego is telling us because our neighbours can do triple flip on the air by just raising a finger. Lesson learned. |
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Posted by my_karma on 2008-02-05 23:15:39 | Rating: | Views: 23
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