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| MY IRON BALLS BLEED FIERY SEMEN RUST |
in case your head has been under a rock you most certainly have noticed that it is
raining metal.seriously man, metal is everywhere.it's fucking huge right now.i haven't
decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.i mean, don't get me wrong ......i love
metal.in fact, i am metal.i been listening to metal long before it was kinda-sorta-but-
not-really considered somewat acceptable.
i've heard it all.i've seen it all.i've been called a freak,a devil worshipper,a fucking
weirdo,you name it.all because i like it loud and brutal.i mean, i do admit that i love all
forms of music.kinda-sorta.i hate 99% of the shit that vomits of the asshole that most
people call a radio and i still ,to this day, hate anything sung about a pet cow or a
trailer park milf through someone's nose while they drink some kind of piss swill that
usually runs about 4 dollars for a case.but, since i was a youngster i have always had a
fetish for loud guitars and crashing drums.metal is metal to me.a long time ago the
metal scene was divided into cliques like some high school dance.even though i am
certain some people still practice that " i ain't listening to that shit" philosophy i have to
admit ,myself .....if it's loud i can dig it.i'm older and pickier and i hate everything.but,
if something is dark or brutal or ripping or loud or heavy or just flat out kills you in its
tracks and it is played from the heart .....remember, i am old.i can spot this a mile
away ..... i am usually down for whatever.
i guess i should be happy that metal is now considered a regular, everyday,
normal thing.but, at the same time .....who the fuck wants to be considered normal? i
mean, that was kind of the mystique about metal back in the olden days ,am i right?
i mean, i couldn't tell you how many times i used to have friends over in my room and
i would slide in something vicious and ear-bleeding on my vinyl-vagina that i used to
refer to as a stereo,only to be greeted by stares and jaws dropping to the ground and
that ever so popular question i constantly heard....."dude, what the fuck is that shit?"
venom.celtic frost.mercyful fate.bathory.slayer.shit, even metallica at that time was
greeted with many groans of "turn that fucking noise off,man!" i remember back then
even my friends that were into metal couldn't even stomach venom.so, here we are
many years later, and not only do we have metal festivals all over the world ,but i can
turn on my television and see mastodon on david letterman or anvil on jimmy kimmel.i
saw it.i am not making this shit up.
i am not saying i have a problem with metal being popular.i mean, it's actully kind of
cool.but, at the same time it's just kind of .....weird....and ......well, weird.i mean, when i
think back to being a teenager and headbanging to "metal on metal" by anvil and then i
turn the channel and see lips on jimmy kimmel ......well, you can imagine how bizarre
that is.
the kind of cool thing is that no matter how popular and commercialized metal gets its
still gonna be metal and its still gonna be dangerous and fun.even so, this whole
acceptance thing is only gonna go so far.i mean, did you see how even though lips was
his guest and anvil is now a bona-fide success jimmy kimmel was still mocking them?
seriously, i totally saw it.it was that whole turd in the punchbowl thing.i seent that shit.
so, yeah, we are probably not gonna hear muzak interpretations of "welcome to hell"
or " mothra" whilst we patrol the jelly aisle in the neighborhood goodie store.but, i do
think more metal stuff will become more viable to the public.i'm just gonna do my thing
because in a few weeks,months or years, the posers who just want to hop a ride on the
new train to trendy town will have long moved onto to something else.if only we could
be so lucky and they toss aside their bullet belts and trade them in for nooses and
hang themelves.
so, fuck it.metal has always been around and it always will be around.it ain't going
nowhere. i say lets all just enjoy our beloved metals day in the sun and not let it get to
our heads because before long ,as we all know trends die, the fake poser assholes like
jimmy kimmel and david letterman will go back to booking emo polka disco vampire
goth rock bands as their musical guests and lips and company can rest easy in the
shade because it's dark in the shade,and that is where metal heads are most
comfortable.the darkness.
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