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To world:
The past few years i have felt this sense of depression in my life. I've had this thought in my head that I'm nothing but a complete failure. Like any other person, I've spent those days in my room just reflecting upon my life and thinking of all the hardships that I've been through. I'm not going to waste your time by telling you everything that I have been through because I'm sure that somewhere out this there is someone reading this that has been through a lot more than I. All I'm going to say is that I have been through many, many things that weren't so easy.
Well, the other night i was talking to my friend on the phone about life (you know, one of those deep conversations that you have with your close friends and you spend hours upon hours just thinking and expressing). We got onto the topics of accomplishments and as he told me all these things that he has done with his life I began to feel - oh I don't know - left out i guess. The feeling of failure began to wrap all around me. It was at that moment that I realized something.
Life is full of choices. We are the ones that chose to be angry or sad, happy or lonely. Just about everything from what we eat to how we feel is dependant on our choices. No longer will i choose to feel like a failure. I began to realize that i have done some things worth being proud of in my life. Even though to others they seem small and insignificant to me they are great - priceless perhaps.
Despite all of the times that i have fallen, i have gotten back up...but life isn't about getting back up after you fall, is it? It's about what you make of the situation after each fall (how you cope with things). Do whatever it is that makes you happy, not what makes others happy. Focus on the things that make you feel good and accomplished and forget what others say when they put you down. Don't try to be somebody else, just be you. You have the choice of being anybody in the world, but when you chose to be you instead of anyone else, that's what makes you shine out of all the shadows.
I know that all of this is much easier said than done but I HAVE done it and I know what it's like. Don't give up on yourself.
I've come to realize that I'm my very own person - independant and unique in my own way. I don't need a lot of things to make me happy. Just knowing that I can get by on my own makes me proud of who I am. It reminds me that I'm NOT a flaiure [like i once thought i was] but instead I am my own accomplishment.
From the mind of
Emile De Gee...
P.S. Happy New Year!!
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Posted by musicart2 on 2008-01-01 20:31:46 | Rating: | Views: 63
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Dear Emile,
I don't know your age but you sound younger than I. I will be 55 on this Monday. Some times I feel much older. I just wanted to make a couple of comments. Just some "FatherOfSix" pearls of wisdom, if you will.
I don't know what difficulties you have been through and I will not discount them at all. I am very sure they have been significant. Just know this, you will learn very important life lessons from the difficulties. Don't waste the experience on seeing the failure, embrace the lesson. If you want to see failure, Google Thomas A. Edison. Read what he had to say about the "failures" he experienced trying to invent the light bulb. He said they were not failures, he just found ways that did not work.
One of the hallmarks of successful people is what they do after they fail. Successful people pick themselves up and try again. A very good recent example of this is Randy Moss. Randy is a wide receiver for the New England Patriots. (A professional football team, now 16-0) In the last game of the season, last Sat, the Pats were trailing in the final quarter. I was hoping the Pats would loose btw. Randy dropped an easy pass, in the clear, which would have gone for a touchdown. It would have been easy for a "failure-minded" individual to keep his mind on the failure. Not Randy. The very next play, Randy sprinted past his defender and caught a pass for a TD and the Pats went on to win the game. Success is all about getting up after falling and learning the lessons from the failure. Failure is much less important then what you do with the information learned.
If you want to feel good about where you are, go down to skid row. I don't say this to belittle the poor people who live on skid row, honest. I feel very sorry for them. I pray for them. I encourage them. I support them through my church. But, go down there and just look at how they live. Unless you are homeless, you just have to feel that your lifestyle is so much better, regardless of your "failures". Life is a continuum of decisions. Look back on your life and see if this isn't true. I wonder what decisions a homeless person made that took them down that road.
Life is complicated enough even if you do everything right. Avoid making wrong decisions. Read Bill O'Reilly's "Who's Looking Out For You". It's an easy read. In it he says avoid people who do not encourage you to succeed. That means that you should keep friends that have the same good values you admire and that you have. And when someone displays character flaws that you identify as a deal breaker, flaws that they do not change when you bring them to their attention, you need to eliminate them from your circle. You owe it to your friends to point out character flaws. You owe it to yourself to eliminate them if they don't correct those flaws. Surround yourself with successful people and you will have a better chance of being successful.
O'Reilly goes on to say you should avoid making wrong choices. That does not mean you will not make decisions that don't work out right. It means do not make choices that you know are wrong. You know the ones he means, the ones your parents told you about a long time ago....Don't drink and drive, don't do drugs, don't cheat, don't steal. Don't do anything that has the potential to complicate your life. He really does make sense. The book puts a lot into perspective. READ IT!!!!!!
One last thing, then I need to get started with my day. Regarding angry or sad, happy or lonely, I think these actually address attitude. Yes, attitude is a choice. You have no control over what people think, say or do regarding you. You have complete control over how you react to it. It's all in your attitude. Most people will criticize your successes and celebrate your failures. You can't change it because you have no control over them. It's just their way of feeling good about themselves. Just recognize that "It is what it is" and move on. Don't waste any time on trying to change their mind. We don't have enough time to waste.
Good luck in your journey. Enjoy life, it really is worth it.
FatherOfSix
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Posted by FatherOfSix
on 2008-01-02 10:06:24
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