Thoughts.com Blogs - 19 Sept 2007

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19 Sept 2007 - Today is the day

Well for those of you are reading this you probably be wondering what the? TODAY IS THE DAY? What does it mean.... what the heck is she on about?
Today is the day that we see the Fertility Specialist here in Kalgoorlie

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You always think you will fall pregnant and have lots of babies straight away when you decide to start a family. You are taught from a young age at school if you play doctors and nurses you will get pregnant so watch out! How hard can this having babies thing really be?

It is not until you decide at the age of 30 and almost 9 years of marriage that you want to put your career on hold for a little while and actually really 'trying' to get up the duff. Then you suddenly realise "Hang on a minute this is month number 1 of unprotected sex and nothing" What the heck! Oh well maybe the little swimmers just didn't make it. That little one out of 40 million little guys just didn't quite reach the right spot before he died of exhaustion.
So you go again then the next month, then the next month, then the next month. When will it ever end? When will it happen? What are we doing wrong?
Then you become a POAS (pee on a stick) addict in the TWW (two week wait). Man, are those ovulation/pregnancy pee sticks expensive. You do online research. You learn things about your own body and your own fertility and cycle that you have never been taught. Ever! Everything that you thought you knew about yourself, you suddenly realise that you don't. Everytime you have a question or want to know something you 'google' it and come up with more stuff that you didn't know.

Then on month 10 of TTC (trying to conceive) I finally got pregnant. Am I seeing things or is that a line on yesterdays pee stick? So I try again the next morning. Yep there is definitely a faint line. Ok so the wicked witch AF (Aunt Flow) is now overdue by 4 days. All excited I go and make an appointment with the doctor only for the cruel man to say no you are not pregnant because you are only due for AF today. WTF! Some doctors can be so cruel and I insisted on a blood test cos I have been watching the signs for a hawk for 10 months now and I know cos I am late! So he does the pee test and not a sausage. What no line? How can my tests show a faint line and his not show anything? Now he must think I am a liar.

So off to the lab I go to get a blood test. They probably send you to a lab these days rather than do it themselves cos they are too slack and can be greedy and fit more patients in if they just whisk you out the door and send you somewhere else.

Well to cut a long story short 2 blood tests later (one at 18 mIu and the next at 15mIu) the doctor phones me and says that the results are dropping and are extremely low and should be in the 1000's now. By day 34 the old basal temp drop has occured for the last 2 days and I know it is probably all over. Pregnancy 1 Miscarriage 1 has happened. Or as the doctors call it G1M1 (gestations=1, miscarriages=1) I wont tell you how gross it is but if you are a woman who has ever had period pain just think the worst period pain you have ever had and quadruple it. 5 weeks is not alot of time to be pregnant but it sure hurts physically and mentally when you lose it.

Then that thought in the back of your mind starts to rais it's ugly head. After one miscarriage and 18 months of TTC you think that there is definitely something wrong. There has to be! You cannot have 18 months of unprotected sex and not get pregnant. Can you?? So I get myself checked out. Ultrasound scan for PCOS and to check the mummy bits are in there and a blood test. All comes back fine. So. Whats the G O mister geo Jason. Is it you? So the doc sends him off to give his little sample for testing at the lab. Yes the swimmers are there almost double the normal amount! But, as the lab notes say Forward progression:Poor. Yep you guessed it they are slack buggers and arent going anywhere! Well that would help if they actually decided not to have a picnic when they came out and actually went for a swim to find something! More of my internet research shows there are a number of ways it can be improved but I will wait and see what the doc says is the best plan of attach for the slack little ones.

So at 2.45pm today we are going to see Dr Barney McCallum. He is the only guy here in town that we can see. He is apparently very good at what he does according to a few people that I have spoken to. Some say his bedside manner is not very good and he says what he thinks without hesitation but I will reserve my judgment until I have seen him. I am bracing myself though as he has a habit of telling people outright if they are too 'fat' and for those of you who know me you could probably pretty much guess what he is going to say to me today!

Oh well, enough ranting for one day. Hopefully the news is good and we can work something out and discuss our next plan of attack on this TTC thing.

Until next time, cheers