There are so much on my mind right now. I don't know if I can get through it.... for anyone reading my postings, I apologize for postings one after another.......But I have to type my thoughts out to get them out of my head.

The weather has been good, and I think my wife is going to pick up her motorcycle in our garage and bring it down to her dad's. Frankly, I am kinda nervious. I don't really know what to expect... Are we going to talk or it is going to be a "drive-by"........ She is afraid that I am going to trash her bike as a revenge for her leaving, but  it is definitly not me. I am always good to her. Other than my grumpy temper, I treated her like a princess. She was.. is still my #1.... I put her bike on battery tender so when she is ready to pick it up, it will start up. After all she has done to me, why am I still so nice to her..... I really don't know.....She doesn't feel bad leaving me, doesn't feel bad not check up on me after my surgery, and doesnt' feel bad being a cheater and lier......I am not sure what all these mean, but I think she is trying not to feel. I think she is avoiding her feelings. With all of the stresses around her, avoiding feeling means less stress... I guess. She actually left her work crying one day.......... I so wish I could lend her a hand.......but after judging the situation, I guess, anything I do would make things worse.....