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| Ok so im thinking about what to write today |
So i was sitting and wonderng what should i write about today, what will interest others and start a good correspondence because we all reall want our stuff to be read and understood and all that. So first off i wanted to blog about being a mom, iam a mother of two and possibly 3 if you count mothing the hubby lol. Now what is the mothers role really, i grew up with one parent she worked grave yard and slept during the day to make ends meet , i too have tried to do the work and home thing and it doesnt benefit anyone the money is gone before you even get your check and you feel like a chicken with yur head cut off trying to get all the hats on at the right time to do the right job . So much going on for one woman , one mother , one wife. I have often wondered just how were we made up, what do our actual brain functions and body functions look like under all this pressure if only we could see just when enough is enough before we have complete melt down or what seems to be too much nah we can handle just a few more.. you know what i mean we being the woman cant really know 100 percent when enough is enough or when we can take on just one more task. I worked graveyard for over a year in a nursing home and come to realize thats the exact same job my mother did to raise me its funny how the future turns out some times i hadnt planned on doing that type of job simply because i saw all the hurt my mom went through getting attached to the elderly she took care of on a daily basis and to have to hold their hand and watch them just slip away alone with no family that cares, nope told her that job was not for me i couldnt handle letting them go.. but as i was working there and being one out of the the only two in the whole facility at night its quiet and you get a lot of time to sit and watch them individually i would sit and jsut watch them and wonder what truly did they get to accomplish in their life time, almost every elderly woman in that facility was and is a mother, wife,grandma,best friend, and yet still deep down a little child. Seems that we start out in this life as children needing someone to hold our hand and kiss our boo boos and then we grow and mature and learn to nurture our own and help them grow and become godly men and women for this horrible world and we try our hardest to show that love and explain to our kids the importance of family and being there for one another and so on and teach them how to become independent but yet deep down we ache for our own kids to never leave us never forget us our ultimate fear may very well be sitting alone to live out the rest of our short lives dealing with mental issues due to old age and in a facility that seems cold and dark and lonely, always wanting and desiring your children to come and see them , to come and rescue them from this dark place but yet your own children cant see the dark gloom of this place becaue all they see is the beauty on the outside and the promises from the manager that the will take good care of thier family member and its almost as if as soon as the children look into putting their mom or dad in a home the blinders get put over their eyes and they cant see the tears in their mothers eye or see the bruises showing up on their arms and legs nor do they see the depression sinking in the loss of hope the torment that takes over their mothers or fathers mind and heart. yet all the while this woman who sits in her wheel chair in the confines of this cold room that has but just a few odds and ends that remind her of home is alone, is sinking in the hole of depression, is loosing anything left of life she held on to at one point, is giving up , she has no desire to live , she has no hope, she sits and is tormented by her own mind in the confines of this cold room.
i would sit and see these things going on but yet could not do anything to make a change, i could relate to these men and women who at some point in their life were in control and in charge and very protective of their family would give up theri life it it meant to protect their little ones, but now to see them just basically have everything taken form them and the depression set in and them totally give up it took all of me to smile knowing all this was truely going on .. i know what my mom went through, the reason behind staying in the nursing field in the nursing homes all those years its all this that iam talking about " THEY NEED SOMEONE THERE TO LOVE THEM" to bring that joy to them , to make them smile to give them a smile . I longed to hear them laugh, to see the inner child come out in them .. I would do stupid stuff like dance in a circle jsut to make one laugh, and giggle, or make a silly face at them to make them laugh or stub my toe and see them laugh, its a quick glimpse into their soul that they at some point was someones strong tower called mother, wife and so on.. my mother put up with all the drama of the workers because she saw that need in the nursing homes and she met it, my mother not only took care of her only child at home and raised me on one income but she also took the time to reach out and love the elderly that were just shoved off in some cold dark facility..
so again i go back to what do we really know about a woman, a mother, a wife, a grandma? She is a strong tower, she is a shelter for a child, she is the one we turn to when we are hurting and she was always there , always made the time for us but when did she ever find the time for herself? i believe every woman has an inner power that allows her to do all she does on a daily basis and i think every woman needs the respect of knowing whether she is 100 yrs old or 90 yrs old that she is an mighty person and i respect her for all she has done and that its not too hard to love her, to be there for her to cherish her all the days of her life . so what do i think a woman, wife, mother is capable of ? i think she is capable of moving mountains with the right motive, if its for the life of her children she will tear or plow through that mountain and then be ready to give a hug or kiss a boo boo right after dont unerestimate the power of a mothers love, or a grandmas love...
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Posted by msmomtx on 2009-10-03 20:40:36 | Rating: | Views: 23
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