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I should really stop drinking at night. I thought I needed a beer last night because yesterday was such a mess at work. It was nice to stop by the bar and have a drink, but then my thoughts all turned to him... Tex. I couldn't get him out of my head. I wanted him so bad. I still do, but I can control it during the day. The problem was that I've told myself I'm not going to be involved with him anymore. He's not available for me and I'm not totally available to him, so we shouldn't be together. Besides, I was out with someone very important to me and he doesn't know anything about Tex. I hope he doesn't.
Granted, it's not like we've slept with each other or anything. We've only kissed a little here and there... Something about 2nd base? Maybe 3rd? Oh wait... there was the make-out session in the car that ended with a blow job. What's that considered? I don't know all the baseball analagies. Whatever. Last night all I could think about was having sex with the man. I sound like such a teenager, it's driving me crazy! How is it that I'm always so sensible about guys, except the one man I can't have?!?
Today's a new day and I'm working to avoid him. It's a good thing he's leaving at lunch and I won't see him tomorrow either. I'm glad I got on here and wrote the letter to him instead of actually texting or emailing him. Part of me wishes I had sent him a text so he would know how I feel, but the other part of me is afraid of how he would react to my admission.
How do people play these games? Does it drive everyone crazy like it is me?
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Posted by mrssoandso on 2008-06-26 11:48:30 | Rating: | Views: 43
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