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It's 5.22pm and theres many things i should be doing but i dont have energy to do them. I can't really be botherd to mover let alone create an essay comparing two dull films.
Fantastic.
Today i discoverd that one of my mums old friends boyfriend's son is on my course. Which is odd becasue it turns out i know him better than he does. I spent quite a few years growing up with bob, kelsey, billie, gagey, lou, and that other kid that i can't quite rember his name. This just reminded me of how rubbish most people's dad's seem to be (including mine). They constantly let people down but they can't see past this wonderful, almighty dad figure to notice. Maybe i'm just turning into nothing but this bitter old spinister with no nice views on the world.
Today has been overall much better than yesterday. Which is good and nice.
Odd though because useally on a wednesday i go and see Lex. I was in Wellingborugh knowing i had no reason to be there. I miss Lex in an odd kind of way. In a way that if i think about it i won't be able to cope with anything. I know if anything does happen to him i wont feel guilty, and maybe if it does it will be for the better. This boy i thought i knew has changed a lot in the last two years. I actually just want him to sort his life out and be happy. He does fully deserve to be happy in some odd way.
Is it always going to be like this i wonder? The littleist thing makes all nostalgic. The littitlest thing makes me miss him. It's not even love anymore. It's just concern and friendship. That's all taken a bitter twist for the worst now i guess. However, if two unstable people grow attatched and dependent on one another then the out come is always going to bleak.
Claire. One person who proberly understands me most. My boyf does but kinda not on the same level of Claire. Claire and i both share the same irrratic humour, moods and thoughts and actions of suicide. Which is odd i guess. We're connected in a way that most people out. I know when she's feel down without her even telling me. She's miles away but she still know's excatly how i'm feeling. I love this girl with all my heart and she's coming back this weekend. Claire is my rock. When times get tuff we will get drunk and then cry on each other, or do something reckless. R.e lessons with Claire were some of the best spent hours of my life. We spent our time rambling about the cliche' of sex and drugs. Fun indeed. I dont think either of us passed r.e much to mr macmillions dissapointment. I dont think either of us care about r.e. CLaire hurry up and get home would you.
Wow. I've spent over half an hour talking about my self. If that's not narcassim im not sure what is.
Urgh. Writers block. Empty minded. Useally i'm good at poetry and words (except i cant spell) but for the last few weeks my brain seems to have been throwing all of its creativeness away. Yah. Not only can i not express myself in a amusing way i now can't write any essays or anything for shit. Talking about myself again. May just ramble about my dog or something.
My feet are to warm because i have socks and tights on.
Now my arse is in a coma.
me.me,me,mem,em,eme,memememememememememememememe
Got the idea yet?
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Posted by molly_desire on 2007-11-07 10:52:51 | Rating: | Views: 73
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Oh Molly!
It seems wether you're trying to amuse or just feeling rotton, you are still worth reading!
Keep going old love!
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Posted by Triforium
on 2007-11-07 11:07:32
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