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Daddy’s little mistake
Born hardly breathing
Risking every breath I take
Not yet knowing
I was nothing but a mistake
A few years later
Daddy didn’t return
For he didn’t want me
Was the lesson I soon learned
For every day I’d pray
That daddy would change his mind
And come home
For his little girl he’d find
I wrote daddy once
But he never did respond
As I was strongly hurt
For daddy’s love I deeply longed
Every birthday since the age of three
Mama would say surprise
And I believed it was daddy
Until I opened my eyes
I’d cry every night
Till I realized he didn’t care
For it was then
I was told daddys life he couldn’t bare
All I did was think
What was I to say?
For I was going to see my daddy
Oh how I’ve longed for this day
I was completely scared
For was daddy really dying
All the things I wished for
Disappeared as I began crying
I knew what I wanted to say
Also I loved daddy and I’d never deny it
But as I came before him
My voice remained completely silent
A few minutes of silence
And His heart suddenly stopped
For I was strongly effected
As I was in total shock
Daddy died that day
And we never did related
But when I tried
It was too late
Every night since then
I’d cry in complete shame
For was it my fault?
Was I the one to blame?
I never got to ask you
The things I longed to know
But I can’t do that now
Daddy why’d you have to go?
The rest of my life you created daddy
Now your guidance I must take
As I hang my head and cry
For I am daddy’s mistake.
For I love you father even thought I never got to know how you felt about me. There are no words to explain the emotions I have on my life with out you. I’ve loved my life as it is, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have had an even better life with a father by my side.
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| Blog Comments
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wow...if that has a meaning. i totally get it. COMPLETELY. i've so felt EXACTLY like that.
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Posted by danisstory
on 2008-10-09 23:35:18
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That was really good!!
And I know how you feel with every word ing the poem.
xoox-nikki<3
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Posted by nikkiisamazing1
on 2008-10-09 23:51:20
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That’s was so wonderful to read and yet I know it must have hurt a whole lot...
I can tell you something that you might not know...daddies love their kids as much or more then their mommies....you might not understand this but daddies’ hurt in different ways....and what you might feel as abandonment he might feel as the ultimate disgrace in being a man and not being able to provide basic necessitates for the family….What kills a man is that he is expected by you, his wife, mother-in-law, from God and his neighborhood that a man bare the full weight in supporting the family…the little things to the expensive things and to things that there can’t be measure in dollar cost…
I remember the first time I broke a promise to my son….you would think big deal a broken promise….my son always knew a promise was never meant to be broken…never broken…and when he told me dad but you promised me and did you forget that a promise can never be broken….I wanted to die right then there…I cried so much inside… I hated feeling that I could not keep a promise to my son….I just wanted to kill everything that moved…and after you break a promise you cannot look at your kids eye ever again because they know they can not believe in you….so here comes more pain….
Men don’t show pain with tears they tend to keep things bottled up and explode or they do stupid things like cheat, hit, drink, yell, abuse, etc…just because they failed and we hate failing especially to our little kids because they look up to there fathers to make things better when no one else can…we are their first super hero…we are their laughter and their hope for a new day to quickly come….and when a man or a daddy fails all those feelings that a man should have becomes the most haunting feelings that a women can never know and they either bad mouth the husband or cover up for him but she will never know…you will never know all you know and see is his actions of neglect…
I don’t know your dad but if I did he would probably say I have the most beautiful daughter in the whole wide world and it will kill me one day for never telling her that…
He probably loved you more then anything in the world but was so ashamed in not being able to tell you which was is why he died a very unhappy man…I pity him so much….
You was his heart beat and every reason for living…trust me in that….he died broken hearted….I can almost hear him crying….
God Bless You….and always know in your heart he loved you!!!
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Posted by JLOyola
on 2008-10-10 00:20:07
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I am left speechless by the emotion in this poem! Written from the heart...I am sad for you...
I am utterly amazed at you JLOyola, you are one hell of a human being, and I could not come close to helping this young lady compared to the words you have given her...
MissUnderstood- Young lady there are so many hurts and pains out there, I am sorry for you... Let your words flow, for you do this so beutifully...
E
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Posted by Evetspordlaw
on 2008-10-10 09:36:52
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| Views: 58
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