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lemme give yal the story from the gate.. my older brother has been way too overprotective of me my whole life &when i started dating one of his really close friends he tripped &me &my brother ddnt talk for a year.. well my brothers friend; lamar was a bad choice now that i look back. he had a daughter &he was livin wit his babys mom, in &out of jail plus i lost my brother over him but something just made me fall head over heels for him. i rode for that man &handed him anythin he ever needed for a year &a half. then typical guy kicked in &he started fuckin another bitch.. mind you i fell in love with this man, so as you can guess i was pretty crushed. anyways when i got kicked outta my house again about 6 months ago i moved in with my best friend &his girlfriend who i was also best friends with at the time.. well to make it short a robbery &a shooting happened.. lamar, the kid i was livin with &kevin were the ones who did it.. &the kid they robbed &who they shot were also really close to me. i was stuck in the middle of things the whole time. dude that got shot gave my name address &everythin to the cops.. &i was the only one under age. so i ran. i ran with the other 4 people who were involved. left everythin behind ddnt tell no one nothin dropped outta high school. fucked up my life with that one litle decision to leave. we moved to another state &lived in a finished basement of one of their family members. well the gurl mar was fuckin around wit when we was together also lived there &i got involved wit kev.. who soon to find out has a baby on the way. drama. drama. we were on the run for 2 months then everyone got scared &we all fought with eachother constantly so me kev &my other 2 friends moved back home &lamar &his gurl came back like a week later.. well lamar being the convicted felon tht he is was the cops #1 priority, &after about 2 weeks they cought him. he told the cops the whole story but wuldnt write it dwn cos mar was nvr good at rememberin shit &he ddnt want his stories to change &get fucked over in court. since he tld the whole story me kev mark n jess were hot again. but mark turned himself in before the cops had the chance to interrogate me &jess. a week later he got out. no proof he was there &mar wasnt bout to turn his bak on his boy. kev stayed on the run then shit got too crazy wit his babys mom &his anger got a lil too outta control if you kno wat i mean. so i quit talkin to him. a moth later me &jess had our fallin out &kev got caught by the cops but no matter what else was goin on with me or anythin else i always had lamar in the back of my head. kev did 2 wks &was free. judge ruled today that mar's doin 10-12 :[ everyone minus mars new bitch [obviously] were my family &even tho none of us chill no more i still love them just because of wat we been thru togeter but i wanted kev &mark to go dwn for tht robbery too. afterall mar wasnt the one who got trigger happy.. so why is he the only one doin time?? &why so long? even tho he's wit someone else we both know we still got love for eachother &i cnt imagine livin the nxt 10 yrs wit out him. ya he'll prolly make parol after awhile but still its too damn long! me &my brother are tlkin again cos i was just so unhappy tht i had to suck it up &talk to him but i swear.. everytime i look in my brothers eyes i see lamar smilin at me. i jus dnt kno how im gna live day to day knowin tht hes in there &i know his bitch aint talkin care of him like she shuld be. &we hvnt tlked since we all moved back.. shuld i write him &let him kno wat im feelin or is tht gna make things harder for him? shuld i send sum money jus to let him kno im still here.. or shuld i jus forget all of it?? i dnt kno wat to do but i do kno i cnt keep livin my life like this. i go thru soo many mixed emotions in a day its rippin me apart inside... maybe i'll juss sleep on it :[
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