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So I've finally broke up with Him. And to be honest, it was easier than I had thought. He made it easy. He had stupidly given me His myspace password, saying he has nothing to hide from me. So, I figured I might as well see what He had on there. Turns out there were a lot of messages. To hot girls. Which, I was like... who cares. I send messages to hot girls too. So we were even. Plus He wasn't cheating, just talking to them. But this was besides the point. The myspace wasn't the make or break of this relationship. I simply did not love Him. Nor would I ever. You can't force yourself to love someone. It just can't happen. So I called Him today. And asked if we could meet and talk. He said He already knew what was going to happen. That He'd rather just talk over the phone (could this mean He was going to cry if we talked in person? I wouldn't put it past Him). So we did. He asked why I took down the pictures of me and Him. And why I deleted my friends and family off His friends list. He said His sister said it was a sign we were going to break up. Then He asks Are we? Yeah. We are I said. Because, well, I ruin relationships. He was quiet. Then He asked if I hated Him. No. I don't. I said. Because I didn't. He was a nice guy. He did everything right. It was me who tended to mess things up. Then I told Him if He hated me. I could absolutely understand. I was a bitch. I was mean. I'd hate me. But he said no. Depressingly He said. I love you as much as when we were going out. Which made me shiver. I hate that word. Love. I can love my parents, my family, my friends, grape flavored soda. But I couldn't bring myself to love a boyfriend. Maybe it's because I never have. That's sad. Then He asked if I'd still come to His family reunion with Him the following day. I told Him It'd be awkward. He agreed. Then He asked if we could still be friends. I said yes. I guess. I don't know how great that will be. But if he wants too, why not. Then He said. I guess I'm screwed. I asked why that was. He said because I had said that I never get back together with ex's. This is true. He said He guessed He didn't have a chance. I didn't say anything. I had been mean enough that day. I'm destined to be love lorn and hopeless.
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I was in the mall shopping for a picture frame for a relatively close friend of mine. She had just come home from her honeymoon and we were getting together this coming weekend to catch up and look at her photos . As I was walking into the store I made eye contact with her husband, surprisingly he approached me and we began speaking to one another. Now, I had only met him about three or four times before because after they met she stopped seeing many of her friends as with most new relationships. It was a brief dating period for them, in fact, they were married within five months of meeting each other. He was very pleasant, in fact he was overly nice and was leading into conversations that were making me feel a little uneasy. He started asking personal questions about my relationships and made an inquiry about me going out with a newly married man and how he could really show me a good time. He asked for my cellphone number and would not stop until I gave in,"WHAT A FOOL I AM" Now I don't know what to do, I can't tell my her because it will end my friendship for sure and I can't possibly go to her home and pretend this didn't happen. I confided with another close friend of mine and she told me about this site http://urajerk.com/ At first I thought is was just another one of those sites that pop up here and there but I checked it out. I must say I like it and thats why I am spreading the word. I was able to send him a few cards with some personal anonymous messages, he will know they are from me, but no one else will. I love this site because I can at least tell him that he is a F#%//ng JERK. Has anyone else gone through this crap before? How can men be such assholes? I mean JERKS!!
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Posted by lina4u
on 2008-07-29 06:39:37
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