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| A Strange Relationship-Friendship
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This guy and I, were good friends in the beginning of my college year. As we spent more time hanging out together as friends, we started develping this 'strange' relationship or I should say, friendship. Yes, 'strange' relationship/friendship.
We're both from different countries, share different cultures, speak different language, eat different types of food and etc... In the beginning, this did not seem to matter at all as we were younger, shared common interests, hobbies, music, sports, moral values and beliefs. I was very comfortable talking to him, sharing my thoughts and even when I had happy or upset moments, he'd be the first one I'd talk to and vice versa. That went on for several months and we became roomates in a two bedroom apartment for a couple of years. As time went by, as much as I hate to call it "dating", we became very close. So close that we now know each other's sad past where we had never told anyone before, good or bad habits, favorite shows, favorite places, birthmarks, mole on each other's hand, shoe sizes, and even what topic to make one happy or upset. When he graduated from college and was in another state, we called each other almost everyday and would visit each other every chance we got or at least I did.
"Dating". What's dating? How do you define that you're dating someone? I at least at some point, thought I was dating or in a relationship. I am pretty sure he did too for a short period of time. We were hesitant to tell each other, "I love you" in the beginning so we told each other, " I like you", as we both believe that love is a strong word. We did manage to pass from, "I like you" to "I love you" stage, but that didnot last very long and it was mostly written when exchanging emails or on cards on several memorable occasions. "Miss you" was the other hard words that we could not tell each other freely. All that stopped eventually later.
After knowing each other for many many years and although we care so much for each other till now, we both know that we cannot be 'together'. Together as in none of our best friends or old friends know about us, together as in pretending that we are just friends in public, together as in we cannot marry to one another and so on. We are from two different countries, do not share common cultures, and mainly our strict and old-fashioned parents and relatives strongly disagree marrying someone outside your culture but I guess if one of us had the courage to speak up to our parents, would that have worked? None of us even dared trying, knowing the answer is a big "NO"!
We knew this all along. We even talked about this before we really got together but after a few months, we had to make ourselves clear that we were not in a relationship. Over the years, we've gotten over this issue, dating or not dating, and after a while, we had never discussed about it. Now, we just really enjoy each other's company and knowing that there's someone there who will help you regardless of what trouble you're in or will give you the best advice when you need one.
Why am I blogging now? I recently found out that this guy's parents want him to get married very soon and it's going to happen pretty soon. Who is he getting married to? He doesn't seem to know or maybe he does, I don't know. I believe it's going to be an arranged marriage and all he knows is that it's happending pretty soon.
When I found this out (not from him), my heart sank. I cried myself to sleep that night. Even as I am typing these words, tears are not stopping, running down my face. I thought I was 100% ready for the day he'll tell me that he's getting married but I guess I wasn't ready. I am truly happy for him that he is getting married and I hope he finds the right person.
Have I confronted him about the marriage and my feelings? Yes and no. He eventually told me about the marriage after a few days I found out and told me that he had no other choice to but get married due to pressure of his parents which I can totally understand. Of course, I could not tell him how upset I was when I heard that news. Sad part is, he recently told me that he doesn't want to lose me and that I am very special person to him. In any case, as long as he is happy, I am happy for him.
As I am typing along, several happy and sad moments together that we shared, are lingering in my head and that was one of those best and memorable times I had since I got here to the US. It's really hard to let go of someone who you really care for.
Am I heartbroken? Why am I so upset? Why are tears dropping down my face? I should be happy for him. Will I be comfortable talking to him in the future? Why do I want to stop all communications with him, all of a sudden? I ignored his phone calls a few times. Why am I doing this? I'll eventually cope to the situation and time will take care of it but how soon?
I am sure there's someone out there had similar experience that I am having right now. I wonder how they coped or how long it took for them to overcome this weird, strange and crazy emotions that I am going through.
It's a strange relationship or better call it as, friendship.
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| Blog Comments
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Thats a hard one. It seems like both of you wanted more but because of his background, there was no more to be had.
If he does marry to please his parents then wish him all the best and hopefully you can remain friends and in contact with him.
If for some reason, he decides to not marry because his heart isn't in it, then if possible, try to take it to the next level.
Whatever happens, I wish you luck.
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Posted by templar_knight
on 2008-08-17 22:14:41
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I don't know exactly what to say, but what I will say is follow your heart. It just might lead both of you to the right thing. I'm not saying to keep your hopes up only to be dashed, but don't ever give up all hope, because 'where the heart leads is where the mind follows.'
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Posted by inkgirl08
on 2008-08-18 01:15:34
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| Views: 71
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