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writing about my past has really brought out some old memories, so i dug out the notebook i used to carry EVERYWHERE with me, and i was so messed up lol
but i thought a little of it was worth writing here as i still love who i was then even though i may not be proud of the things i did.
my subconsious seems to be taking me to the old place where a solution may lie....
finding the paths harder to walk, putting obsticles in my way
trips and falls at every corner, not knowing the way to anywhere
is it worth revisiting the old places where you believed the sun still shines
to stumble blindly into old routines
but the sun no longer shines there, not sure if there is even a glimmer
don't go there again, alone as you may be
new paths may be better, they may be worse
but the unknown is intreaging..as well as frightening
you are the worse version of me, or are you
screwed up parents leave child vs screwed up parents raise child
why are you more of a victim than i?
rejection vs years off insanity forced into my head
who knows who's worse off
maybe you are better off that they left
who's pain is the more important?
neither
to my ex
its been a long time so don't expect me to miss you when i cant remember how good it was!
if you think i am smiling then you must be blind
you arn't even looking at me, youre looking right through
you cant see my scars, you deny all my fears
shelter me from you
to afraid to hold me encase you feel my heart
Karls fruit machine
you've lost yourself in the bright lights again
i know you want to lose your mind
escaping from reality
as if the drink and drugs wern't enough
i didn't realise i was so weak
until i saw my weakness in you
i cant close my eyes
i dont want the darkness
i really dont want to sleep tonight
i fear the day will come
all i can hear is the wind
blowing through the hole in my heart
lonliness in a world full of people
people who can live without me
the tears in my eyes will never explain
why i'm losing my mind by hiding my pain
please don't panic this stuff was written at a dark time in my life..i'm fine lmao
theres more but i cant read a lot of it as i was kinda tiddly most of the time
love and hugs x
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Posted by missmarie on 2007-11-21 13:41:58 | Rating: | Views: 88
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So many feelings went into these.
They are wonderful.xx
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Posted by bubblydi
on 2007-11-21 14:53:55
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I won't panic.
I have similar thoughts often.
I think life is a cycle.
We keep experiencing good and bad emotions throughout our whole lives.
Expressing them in creative writing is an excellent way to deal with them.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2007-11-21 23:38:33
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hey, how did you figure near liverpool?xx
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Posted by bubblydi
on 2007-11-25 15:15:59
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"to my ex
its been a long time so don't expect me to miss you when i cant remember how good it was!"
HAHAHA thats friggin hilarious... sorry but it is.
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Posted by LittleStar
on 2007-11-26 02:47:05
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Thanks Star..where have you been? x
Di, spooky isn't it he he x
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Posted by missmarie
on 2007-11-26 04:08:00
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