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i'm not really sure what to do. i'm so lost in this situation that i haven't really talked lately. i'm starting to worry ppl. i really don't wanna do that but it's hard to tell them that i need to figure this out on my own for a min, or a couple of days.
two days ago, my son tried beating the shit out of my oldest girl. it's not some random act. he's tried before several times. but i've always been able to get it under control. not this time. my son decided it was time to grow some balls and attack the wrong gender.
i've been beaten most of my life. whether it was my mom or ex's. so, i won't put up with it.
he used my oldest's rollerblades without asking. she tried getting them back. it didn't go so good. she has to start demanding them back cuz he thinks he can do what he wants. her being demanding, he didn't like it. he takes off her rollerblades and throws them sooo hard at the ground with the intentions of breaking them.
she walks away and goes into the garage and gets his addy book. he gets even more pissed. he demands in back. she says, "why? you didn't ask me. why should i ask you?" he demands again and she refuses telling him that she's just doing to him what he did to her. she turns her back on him and starts to walk away. he starts running at full speed and put his shoulder in her back as hard as he can and shoves her down in the middle of the road.
my youngest is screaming at me that he's attacking my oldest, AGAIN! i go out there and now she's trying to whoop his ass. i told her to stop and i grab him up by the neck. he's sooo pissed off that he's trying to pull away from me. i told him the more he pulls away the tighter my grip is gonna be. he don't listen and tries to pull away again. so my grip got tighter and my nails dug in.
as soon as i got to the garage i told him that he can't put his hands on a girl. it's illegal. he's not listening so my bf took him out into the yard to talk to him "man-to-man". that didn't work either. he told my bf to fuck off! which in turn, pissed off my bf. my son realizing he just opened a can of worms that he didn't wanna deal with, took off running down the road and my bf ran after him. again, my youngest screaming at me, telling me what was going on.
i was in the garage trying to cool off. i run out there and they are just a house down and my bf is telling him to never lay a hand on the girls again and never say that to him ever again. my bf goes back home. i go over there and picked him up by his ear and told him that if he's not wanting to listen that i'm gonna do it the old fashioned way. so i dragged him home by his ear. he got really pissed and decided to try and hit me twice. i saw it coming and told him not to even think about it. when we got back i told my bf that now he's thinking about hitting me.
my bf gently put him to the ground and told him that if he ever hit me he was gonna have to answer to him. i walk over to them and he gets off of him. we all go back into the garage. again my youngest says the cops are here.
the cops tells me that there's a better way to handle it. i went off!
i told him "what would you do if your 15 yo son started beating on one of your daughters? always hitting, kicking, punching, choking. what would you do? what am i supposed to do, let him get to the point where he wouldn't even think twice about beating his mother?" he said no and that he don't have kids. so, he didn't know what he would do. i told him exactly. he told me that he could take me to jail for it. i asked "for what? disciplining an abuser?" i told him all that happened and he said that he could still take me to jail. my oldest went off. she told him he couldn't. that my son started beating her. she already had a bruise to prove it. she showed him and told him why does my mom have to pay for this??? the cop questions me about the bf substaining him. my oldest says what does that have to do with anything. he was out of control! he lost his temper worse than he ever has! i do it when the youngest gets all mad and can't calm down and you do it to ppl when they are out of control! the cop agreed with that too. then throws cps in my face. i said "why? so they can come in and ruin another american family? so they can come in and rip another family apart that didn't do anything wrong?" he told me that when he gets outa control like that to call them. maybe it will scare him enough to make him stop. i love it when the change the subject instead of facing the truth.
the cop went to talk to him. he said he did do it and that he went to swing at his mom a couple of times and told the bf to fuck off. the cop told him that i can go to jail for this. my son told him no, that it was his fault. the cop suggested counselling and left.
my son comes over to apologize. i accepted it. he meant it at the time. but yesterday he's back at it again. he's still hitting them. my girls are a mess. my bf feels horribly bad for putting him to the ground to get him under control. and now i have mixed feelings about the whole thing. this is one cycle i hate with a deadly passion.
what do yo do when you start to realize your raising an abusive boy that will turn out to be an abusive man? what do you do?
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Posted by misslissa on 2008-07-30 11:27:57 | Rating: | Views: 44
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Wow! It's bad when the people whom your responsible for until they are 18 holds all the power! You not allowed to control them but you have to pay for whatever damages they may do to others and others property. Such BS!
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-08-01 11:21:46
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i agree. it really makes no sense to me. in the old days it was different. you could make them responsible for their own actions. now you can't with cps and the child welfare reform.
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Posted by misslissa
on 2008-08-01 23:17:31
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