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i tried to post a blog here a couple of days ago. but it didn't work. seems when i typed in the code it said i was loggout. after it telling me that the code was wrong 5 times. (it wasn't) so needless to say the blog about fatness is lost somewhere in www limbo. oh well.
today i'm on the verge of either really pissed off or severe depression. i dunno, we'll see which on comes first.
two days ago i just found out that my youngest's father has had 3 major heart attacks, 1 month ago. they had to amputate his leg. he was on life support and his own mother wanted to pull the plug, but his long-time gf said no. so he died basically and then came back to live a lil while longer. i don't know what to think about it. i haven't seen him in over 13 years. not since i told him i was pregnant. i guess it just bothers me cuz she's never met her father and she wants to soooo bad. to hear that there was a big possibility that she may have never met him is weighing on my mind. the scarey part is he's only 31 yo. soooo young and sooo sick. and what's worse is, i dunno if i should get ahold of him. i dunno if seeing us will put too much stress on him. i dunno if he can handle the excitement. i've always known that his health problems were going to happen at an early age. it runs in his family. his grandmother died in her 60's. she had seizers and heart attacks. his father had two anuerisms in his 40's and lived through it. altho he acted like he was a 9 yo the rest of his life, he actually lived through it.
then on top of that my sons father keeps making plans to see him and then doesn't call or show up. it happened again yesterday and now we are scheduled for another no call/no show on monday. then on top of that he tries to get me to move in the house next to him to make his visitation easier. my thought on that is "DUMBASS!! you shouldn't have moved an hour away from you son!" but i politely turned him down. anyway, on top of all that all he does is make excuses to not come see his son. first it gas. then it's surgery. then it's gas again. then he's saying he pays too much in support. he only pay $120 a month. most father's pay 3 x's that if not more. he should be counting his lucky stars.
then there is alot of stress going on here. no money, no freedom to be an adult, no privacy at all. i should be used to this but it's an on-going struggle. especially when you have a man that can't stand it and complains about it every morning like i'm supposed to do something about it all by myself.
i dunno, it's just really hard right now.
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Posted by misslissa on 2008-09-05 10:41:14 | Rating: | Views: 42
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Wow you sound about as stressed out as I am for different reasons. Is it maybe the moon? I think it's just life!
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-09-05 10:58:30
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lol i wish it were the moon. that way i's know when all of this is gonna end lol. i think your right, i think it's just life too.
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Posted by misslissa
on 2008-09-05 22:17:26
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Sounds like you have alot going on...Allmost like your picture... pulled in alot of directions at once.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-09-07 12:24:42
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DouglasMB, Anne Stokes painted that. she's an amazing artist. well, i think she would give James Ryman a run for his money. :) when i found it, i was naturally drawn to it.
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Posted by misslissa
on 2008-09-07 12:47:03
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