i don't really have to much to say but my heart was ripped out of my chest and shot into pieces...it feels like i'm trying to come up for air out of the water......i need to scream but i can't 8 years of my life has been thrown away and i have nothing to show for it....i loved...i mean... i love him more than i can even put into words or thought...i can't say i didn't see it coming because i did but i refused to acknowledge it. i begged and pleaded for just 1 more try but it wasn't useful....it's like a drug that i"m strung on and i CANNOT rehabilitate....it's like the most painful piercing sting in my chest and death couldn't even take it away.......my world has been wrapped around on just this one thing so who does it go to now it's hard to actually believe that this is what is happenning. I don't think i want to believe it. it's like i refuse to... i don't know where to run to or where to turn...i actually prayed last night for the first time in years...i don't know where to go from that but it's just what's in my head as of know
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