it rained just now
and it was quite scary
not that the rain was scary but the suddeness and heaviness of the rain could have startled just anyone...
in addition, just right after raining, the sun shone brightly like never before
within hours there wasn't even a trace that this area once rained so heavily
how scary that the evidence is removed so quickly
it seems like a bad omen
or maybe it's just me
have been in a really really pessimistic mood
well it's not as if i was exaggerating but things are just not going well
since it's not good then i can't be wrong to conclude it as bad right?
i can't possibly deceive myself and say that don't worry nothing's wrong and everything will turn out just right...
not in the mood to do anything
gave myself a break today
but i still have lot's of work that has been piled up
this two weeks is going to be very very hectic
but i've survived one week
hurt and injured in the process
but i guess since i didn't die,
i have to face whatever is coming next week
if it really is going to be so bad,
nothing i do will avoid it
i'm always facing the consequences of my actions bravely till now
it's just that i need lots of time to prepare and accept
good news are easy to take in and easy to forget
but bad news takes a long time to stabilise and sinks right into the bottom of the heart
that's why i always need to prepare myself for it
the last time i didn't my world almost tore apart
it's not that if i prpared i would be able to take it
it's just that i may be able to face it better
the other time i did not rule out the possibility of faring so badly which was why i managed to curb my pain
it did help that i have lots of encouragment
and lots of people who thinks highly of me
but i never was able to find my confidence after that
not even till now
and i;m beginning to feel the effects of it
at first i thought that it was okay as long as i was able to continue with my life
but i realised that not being able to let go, the problem still persists
and i'm having a real hard time catching up
i'm feeling the pressure
lots of pressure
i feel the heat
it's difficult
and i want to emphasise that i tried
but.......................................
the only choice i have now is to stride ahead
only three more weeks left
that's my only chance
i desperately need a break
there's nothing that i do now that can reverse this condition
i just have to face it
bravely
i hope i have the courage
no matter what happens,
i still need to go on