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truth, disillusioned?

actually sometimes i don't understand myself either
i'm a firm believer of truth yet i prefer to be disillusioned?
maybe somethings are better left unsaid, undone, untouched
too much being make known can hurt i guess....
ignorance may be bliss
even if the truth is known after a very long time it can still sting....
it does make me feel empty
and a bit sad
to realise that i wasn't part of the big picture
although it was me who had isolated myself and chose to live in seclusion
i didn't want to or feel the need to know
so why be sore about not knowing?
sometimes the truth does give me surprises,
sending me turning away with laughter
and a bitter tinge of why at the very end
i have only myself to blame
whoh told you to always hold your head up so high?
would it hurt to just reach out to others abit?
to most people it does not
but even up till now,
it still pricks for me....
i just can't reach out
i suddenly realise that it's not my habit to do so....
i'm just not used to....
and if you wan tme to change i might for an occassion or two
but it does not last...
maybe that's why i'm used to loneliness.....
there's no more anticipation to do things together....
there's no such thing as together.....
just do or don't......
there's no such thing as others....
because of you are not the best no one would care about you at all....
even if you are the best probably nobody would
because others are all ploting to bring you down.....
i'm always used to it so i guess i'll stay like this....
too much concern will only add to my discomfort....
no matter how much warmth it brings
everything will just fade away..........
maybe i just want to live in my own world and memories to prevent myself from getting hurt
in te end i'm the only one who's hurt the deepest....
what irony....

Posted by milo on 2009-07-14 10:27:17 | Rating: