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It is written?

all of a sudden my mind is overwhelmed with thoughts
what are they?
well i need a little time in sorting them out now
initially i was quite depressed
one was because i'm not getting anywhere with my work
i have been procrastinating and diverging very much these days
don't know where did all my focus and drive went to
maybe after sorting it out now i'll be more determined on my goals
second is that i'm always alone
no one seems to be interested in the things that i want to do
it really is weird without company
actually i'm okay with the idea as long as people don't give me those strange looks that i can't stand
it's those perception that's stopping me
if not i guess i'll be very much happier now
very much happier i guess
third i seem to be like momo
always so forgettable
i really hope that someone would remember it this year
but whenever i get my hopes high i always end up getting utterly disappointed
why is it that all the people that mean so much to them remembers but mine is always....forget it...the more i say the more hurtful it gets...
but as i grow older the more i hope that people will remember...
it makes people feel special i guess...
but maybe i;m not unique enough
i'm just too plain too common too forgettable almost invisible
momo may be invisible most of her life but the very moment that she met mars she can no longer be invisible anymore because even if she is invisible to the whole world she would not be to mars
perhaps that is in their destiny it is written...(haha my favorite phrase today)

i've just watched a nice movie that sort of lifted my spirits up a bit
that's where i got that phrase from
it's written
it's destined
somehow that's the path they will take and that's where they'll end up
where will i end up?
is my page filled up or somehow maybe mine was left blank?
even if i know it's all lies i would still like to experience it at least once....
that's being greedy i know but humans are greedy
maybe i should be just contented and live it plain like water
after all it's better for my body i guess
less pain less aches...

almost forgot to mention
today i met someone who i've not seen for quite sometime
even though that person was just next to me i didn't call out to him
he didn't recognise me though i was so close
it's reasonable considering that he meets so many people
and i don't really stand out
but the actually reason that i didn't acknowledge him was that i was afraid
afraid that he would give me that do i know you face
i know that it happens
but it's quite hurtful
and i guess that he would not remember me
for that i'm quite sure
but then again if i had called out to him i would be remembered at least fo this year
that one i'm sure
but i'm just scared
well done scaredy cat
be scared all your life then...
maybe deep inside me i just wan things to remain as they are no changes
it would be really awkward if i did call out i guess

will there be someone out there to protect me?
is that written?
no i shall be brave and protect myself
a weak facade is no excuse for not being brave

i'm getting very stressed now
the mid term break i almost over and i've still got tons of work to do
burdened with lots of projects and homework
blame myself for being lazy
why am i not as hard working as before?
wake up
look where you are heading if not you'll crash soon
be more hardworking and you shall be rewarded
FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS
i have to get this in my head
okay got to start work
i really miss those days
although i can't go back i'm still thankful that at least they existed
those memories are so painful that i missed them so much
i suddenly realised that as time goes by, painful memories becomes the sweetest ones
i hope this keeps me going
it's written i hope...
i hope to see you soon...
i hope that someone remembers...
i hope that i'll survive...
i hope that i'll be brave...
i hope that i'll be able to face life without being so sad....
please let it be written...i'll wait...but don't be long...

Posted by milo on 2009-02-26 04:46:19 | Rating: