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When Plans Go Awry Part 2

After second period that day, I talked to Matt and asked him what he thought. He said it was funny. That pissed me off & I was like screw him this isn't happening, Ever! About lunch time, I starting talking to him and cooled down & got over it. I shouldhave asked him out then, but we were like really talking about other stuff. I didn't see him again that day. I decided I couldn't handle waiting until Tuesday, so I called Edith [the one of our friends I talked to about him] and got his cell phone number. That was pointless because I gave him mine on facebook & he ended up giving me his. I went to my cousin's baseball game & called Matt there. I was like, "so you wanna know who I'm chasing?" Of course he wanted to, but I kind of froze & he had to get off the phone. So I called him again Friday morning about fifteen minutes before school started when I was on the bus on the way to Fiesta Texas for the senior class trip.   I just told him it was him, and he was shocked & said he didn't know what to say. I took that as a no and we got off the phone. I forced myself to accept that as a no whether it was or not. My thinking was that I had done my part and if he was worth it he would do something about it, otherwise, I wasn't going to torture myself. Well, Tuesday [today] comes around and I get to talk to Matt. It was obvious he wasn't interested, and even though I am forcing myself to accept it, it still hurts.

And now the table is not only turning but on FIRE.

This has been our facebook conversation this afternoon:

Me:  Hey, I just wanted to apologize if I kind of freaked you out Friday since you weren't expecting it at all or whatever. I hated doing that because I usually like just waiting around for someone else to do something, but since I'ma bout to graduate I figured I really didn't have anything to lose. Don't be like that frikin idiot Juan who won't even talk to me. I liked you as a friend long before anything else & that's more important to me. Like you said about Edith, I know when to back off.

Him:  it's fine, im sorry for how i acted when ever you told me. i was kinda taken back by it, because i honestly wasn't expecting that. i love you, but where a little too differant and it wouldn't be fair to you.

Me:  What do you mean by that?

HIm:  well i'm a reeeaally indicisive person, and i'm not sure about your veiws on religion, but i, in no way belive in a higher power. but that's not a big deal i guess...i don't know

Me:  So is that the only problem? I don't mean to push, I'm just curious.  I mean as far as your beliefs go, as long as you don't force them on me I won't force mine on you. That goes for being friends just the same. I mean, I'd rather be around people who don't believe in God, but are great people and really nice than be around ppl like my 2 ex's who believe in him but are complete jerks.