The guilt over asking Michael to prom and then staying with Stanley is killing me.  I have to say something to Stanley.  I don't know how to do it, but it has to be done.  First I have to get that letter I wrote to him.  I'm concerned about us though.  He told me he has an "emotional wall" up that stops him from crying and he can't be around people who are crying.  I can't deal with that.  I'm scared to death about this.  Today he started irritating me again.  I should just break up with him because this is a cycle that probably won't end.

Oh my gosh I'm so freaking fat.  i worked hard today on working out.  I did pretty good. I ate too much though.  I'm using sparkpeople.com to track everything.  I'm worried about Cristina.  She won't let herself eat anything.  She blacked out the other day.  I miss being happy & single.