Most of you will remember Lou Bega's Mambo No5 a gloriously chauvinistic and politically incorrect song, detailing the joys of the playboy lifestyle. Some of you may have seen the video, where the dashing Mr Bega is attired in a rather dapper white suit and a rather wonderful white hat while delectable scantily clad girls prance around him.

Mr Bega has obviously tasted the high life and has a particular acquantaince with high maintenance women…as the following lyrics attest to

she likes to pay with credit cards
ride expensive cars stays in the president suite
and every day she is looking for a man who gives her more
to satisfy her needs

she likes access to your bank account
she likes dollars pesos and british pounds
she likes money only in high amounts
baby is cool she knows what counts


He also has rather a lot of sweethearts dotted across the globe (and outerspace for that matter) as these lyrics demonstrate. He really seems to be well travelled! Perhaps he is in the employment of NASA

gotta girl in Paris I gotta girl in Rome
I even gotta girl in the Vatican Dome
I gotta girl right here I gotta girl right there
and I gotta girlfriend everywhere
I gott girl on the moon I gott girl on mars
I even gotta girl that likes to dance on the stars
I gotta girl right here and one right there
and I gotta girlfriend everywhere

Mr Bega is not tied down by Victorian morals of fidelity and neatly avoids the accusation of cheating on women by calling them all his girlfriend. The rationale being "how is spending time with your girlfriend(s) cheating" A rhetorical question that I feel merits deep meditation.

Moreover the wise Mr Bega is an advocate of selecting girls on their ability to perform simple arithmetic (presumabely where i have been going wrong over the years in my choice of love interests)

baby show me that 1+1=2
show me all the things that you can do
show me that you need me that you love me
baby show me that 1+1=2

While some may not approve of Bega's lifestylee there is no doubt that he knows how to cheer a girl up as shown by the delightful song "Baby keep smiling":

"Baby keep smilin'
you know the sun is shinin'

I put on my glasses
and tell you how sweet your ass is
so would you jump in my caddy
and call me your sweet sweet daddy"

Ahem.