I am not one to believe in staying married 'for the sake' of the children. Children are much more sensitive to things than we often give them credit for and living a lie can hurt/damage them more than the truth. As a child of divorce I would have to say it was much easier to live with one parent than with two miserable parents. No one can tell you what is best for you. It is a decision you alone must make, but it does not hurt to get input as at times an outsider has a clearer view or just a different perspective. Only you know a deal breaker situation. We are all flawed in some way, it only matters which flaws you can bear to live with. You also have your own self worth to think about. Ideals are only as good as their outcome. I wish you well and insight with this situation. Whatever choice you make, do it w/o malice as a means to an end.
Do not put the children in the middle of it.

Thanks for your insight. My parents never divorced, but there were many times when I wished they had. It was clear to me that my parents did not love each other. As I got older I questioned if they ever loved each other. One day my mother told me that she only married my father because their parents made them; love was never a factor. I don't hate my husband, and in many ways I still care very deeply for him. It will take a miracle of God for me to ever trust him again, though. I know that I want better and that I deserve better. What I could not bear is thinking that I let my son down when I could have held on for just a little longer.

My father cheated on my mother. She hated me, last child of 8 and late in life baby. I always knew how much my mother hated dad. She showed in every way. Children see good and bad, they know, the underlying things not said. It hangs in the air. It is hard for children to cope either way. Is this something you have prayed about? It is very hard to do things in life without God. If he isn't in your life. Life is very lonely. Lonelier than it is now. Just a thought. What about counseling?

I am a Christian and I have prayed for years. God is in my life. My husband chooses not to seek God or His guidance. My husband does not trust counselors, secular or Christian. We tried a couple of times but he wasn't willing to do what was suggested and wouldn't attend the sessions. I realized I was wasting time and money, since it was coming out of my pocket. I don't resent my children because of their father. Even though my husband wouldn't go with me, I did try counseling through the church before just for myself and the pastor told me that I needed to come with my husband. Since he wouldn't come I just dealt with things as best as I could on my own. I would like to share my life with my spouse instead of just occupying the same space. I won't ever have that with the man I am married to now. I know that and have known it for a very long time.

I'll be praying for you.

Thanks and God bless you!

As for your situation I would walk away. I was married 24 years to a person who not cheated but was an acoholic and a abuser. My oldest daughter is now married to a guy who people say beat her up and a middle one who is married to a guy who is worse then her father. He controls all her life and way of thinking. I knew what was going on and contiued to stay married to the person. I lived apart but stayed married. My youngest who is now 19 never knew her father. He died when she was 6. He never even wanted her. I raised her by myself on welfare or whatever. I lived in fear of what he would do or if he was drunk when he came around. He died in 1996. After his death I would go shopping or whatever and people would come up to me and tell me things. If I would of known what I heard before his death things would of been different. All I want to say is what is this showing your son. He can have a wife or girlfriend that he can cheat on. She will stay and put up with it. Kids are smart that they know what it going on. He might know everything. He can do two things. Think he can do the same thing or see it as wrong and not cheat on a future mate. How much self respect and self esteem will you have because you stayed? Think about what is good for you because someday if you see your son do the same thing, how will you feel? If there is tension between the two of you he will notice it. Would you rather your son see you as a strong person or a person who took the easy road out? What happens in four years? Will you tell yourself you have to stay after he graduates from high school another four years because he goes to college? Will that be the next reason to stay? Will there be other reasons after that? I lived in fear of nothing as I look back. All his threats were empty as I found out later. After his death when I would go places people would come up to me and tell me things. If I would of known it I would walked away no run away as fast as I could. He fathered another child about 100 miles away from where we lived. I found a picture of a baby boy with the name that happened to be my husband's name. When I asked him about it he said she liked the name. She married someone else but the baby looked liked him in the picture. He quit going there and when asked why he made excuses. My youngest one who is 19 has heard the stories but does not remember him. She is so much like me and I am glad for she was like him I would not be happy. Just be careful what you do. What do you want your son to think about you and what other women in his life will take? Will this show a good example to your son of what a good marrige should be? Will it show him he can cheat and get by with it. Will this show him a good example of what a father and husband should be and act like? I knew a person who as a boy used him as an excuse to go see other women. He saw it as wrong and would never cheat on anyone. Will your son see it this way or will he take the other road. Get some self respect for yourself and show your your son that cheating will not be worth it in a relationship. It is also showing your son that bad behavior can get you rewarded in life. My son-in law treats people like crap and gets by with it. We do not speak to my daughter or him for almost 5 years because we are not willing to let him control us or giving him a golden pass. What you do will effect your son. What do you want your son to see? Being with two parents does not mean that he will not repeat what his father does. I have seen kids raised in single parent homes for this reason {chaeting}actually turn out better because the parent stood up and I will not take it. Another thing if you think he will stop cheating, he will not. He will continue to as long as you let it slide and do nothing. How can he respect you or your son and continue to cheat? In the future when you look back how will you feel about yourself?

I have divorce papers in my desk drawer at work. I am taking them home, filling them out and going down to the courthouse to file for divorce.

I believe that God speaks to His children, through others and sometimes through our thoughts, or that "funny feeling" we sometimes get. Knowing that divorce is not God's plan, but man's plan, do you think that God would ever speak to us and tell us to divorce an unfaithful and unrepentent spouse?