I suppose we all have times in our lives that we look back on with particular fondness, times that somehow seem especially magical and wonderful despite the fact that things may not have been perfect. I always wonder what it is exactly that makes such times so special but for me I can say without a doubt the mid-90s, when I was 24 or 25 years old, was one of those times. And it was back in 1994, when Reality Bites was released, that I fell in love with this dark horse indie flick that did, as Ethan Hawke astutely put it in a retrospective back in 2004, "capture the zeitgeist of the time." Everything about this film brings me instantly back to that place and time in my life; the music (the soundtrack was phenomenal), the cultural scene, the styles, the naivete despite a recession...1994 had its own persona, as I suppose all eras do, and I really love that persona to this day.
Let's really stop and remember just HOW vastly different it was to be a Gen Xer in the 90s. There were hardly any cell phones, just land lines unless you were among the elite who carried around clunky models with big antennaes, so when you left the house you were free as a bird and people calling you at home (remember when people called you AT HOME??) would get...wait for it...your answering machine! Not even some digital voicemail system. Old school mini cassettes people. I remember having one in my groovy little studio in East Lakeview (Chicago) and my boyfriend at the time left me the most romantic, adorable message that I was able to keep for years because I could pop that tape out and put a new one in there....can't really do that with voicemail...you can keep resaving but eventually the jig is up. Ah simplicity.
Also, behold that back in 1994 there WAS NO INTERNET, at least not in the respect that we know it now (only major corporations and Universitites went "online" and "the web" was just a concept), so even what I'm doing now wasn't possible. And this little tidbit made the film what it was because if there had been internet the storyline of the film would have been completely different. When Lelaina disappears into a rut of late-nite infomercials (Oh, Tony Robbins and his original hair!!) and psychic chat lines costing her hundreds she would have instead been sitting in front of a computer screen...nowhere near as compelling or humorous as watching her "couching" (this is the movie that made "couch" into a verb, thank you very much) while chainsmoking and channel flipping in her pajamas. And yes, EVERYONE smoked like chimneys in this movie and sucked down Diet Coke by the gallons because that, folks, was what college kids and 20-somethings did back then.
The music scene back in the mid-90s boasts some of my lifelong favorites; NIN, Smashing Pumpkins (Siamese Dream era in particular, one of the best rock albums of all time in my opinion), Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Hole, Beck, Thrill Kill Kult, Lords of Acid...a plethora of groundbreaking, fabulous music with the "grunge" scene really taking over.
And wrap your heads around this....NO STARBUCK'S!! That was still mainly a quaint Seattle thing with just a sprinkling of them here and there. We had one or two in Chicago, sure, but that was it. And because of that, we also had loads of real, mom-and-pop shops as well...coffee houses owned by artists, writers, people who wanted to create unique, relaxed environments for people to have coffee and food, read, write and socialize...so NO laptops, Blackberries, Bluetooths...I see so little human interaction that means anything in coffee houses nowadays. Most of them are generic chains devoid of true artistic style or energy, and people go there to see and be seen, chatting at people miles away on headsets while watching people pass by as they pump their children full of caffeinated Frapuccinos...remember when we didn't even know the WORD Frapuccino??? When coffee houses were places to, gasp, drink coffee?!
I used to frequent a fabulous little place on Broadway in Chicago back in 1994 called Cafe Squeeze. The name was perfect because it was literally a TINY storefront squeezed in between two larger local businesses. If memory serves, they had maybe 3 little tables and two booths with a very small counter. The menu was pretty simple; coffee, espresso, juice and some bagels and sandwhiches. No blended drinks, no specialty high maintenance half-calf low-foam bullshit drinks. It was owned and run by this very cool Polish artist who wore lots of black (of course) and had the classic goatee-long haired artistic suavemente look. People smoked there. Including me! (and I'm such a nonsmoker it's not even funny) and I met fabulous, bright, hilarious, creative, interesting people there. Sure, some of them were overly snarky, which wasn't a word then, but like Troy (Ethan Hawke's character) they had their appeal. I always fell for the ridiculously intelligent guys with talent, no money and oodles of attitude as well.
I hear people who are my age and who were therefore the character's ages then talking about how back then they were totally in agreement with the main character of Lelaina in choosing her best friend and penniless philosopher/musician Troy in the end, but that now they would definitely go for the yuppie businessman played by Ben Stiller. They even laugh and roll their eyes at the obviousness of the wisdom of the latter choice now. I disagree. Perhaps that means I've not grown up and if so, I'm thrilled. My entire life I swore I'd never become like the stressed out, regretful zombies I see every day, people who settled. I think the fact that I'd still choose Troy tells me I stayed true to myself and what's important to me. If that makes me eternally adolescent or trapped at the development stage of a 25 year old, so be it! They were good times.
Now, this isn't to say that my life is lacking now - far from it! I love my life. But in many ways, not much has changed. Now I'm in a little groovy studio in Los Angeles instead, but I'm still the same little goth/alternative chipee I was back then. Might have a few more laugh lines, but I think that's beautiful. I still listen to the same music, love the same styles and I'd still go for the tortured philosopher/artist over the yuppie businessman any old day.
I also couldn't help but notice that while there was a major recession back then, with college grads pouring out into the private sector only to find the best they could do were jobs in fast food joints or clubs, the attitudes were nowhere near as doom and gloom about it all as we get now. We're once again being told we're in a major economic depression (which I guess is another step down from a recession?) but this time people are freaking out and panicking. Layoffs are more prevalent now and things are more screwed up in general, but I wonder what a difference it could make if we reacted with the same sort of bewildered naivete that we did back then.
There are things I know now that I didn't then and I wish sometimes I could give that all away...sort of like Neo I suppose wishing at some point he'd taken the blue pill. But the ease and simplicity of life where technology didn't rule our lives and where people had attention spans, privacy, peace & quiet, a fresh new music scene that championed independence and pure creativity and a huge wave of Gen Xers taking their place in the world, before compromises would be made and people would "settle". It felt very much to me the way I imagine the late 60s felt to my mom's generation, although she seldom waxes very poetic about that time. Perhaps it was because the counter culture drug scene in her youth was more about disconnecting, rebelling but not knowing exactly what against or what to do about it. But my generation smoked pot and drank, without much more to it (no X yet and no one I knew did coke or heroin) to enjoy each other's company, to laugh and to oddly be more present, keeping us like eternal children. Different intentions, different times.
Personally, whenever I let my mind wander back to that time I feel my heart literally ache. The pangs are deep, wishing I could revisit that period of my life for a while because it was pure magick. When I watch Reality Bites, with its familiar characters, uniquely natural, witty and funny dialogue (very innovative for the time) and crystal clear reflection of the world in 1994, I get about as close as I possibly can to stepping back in time. It's been 15 years and it still comes across as fresh, funny and bright.
All this and more are reasons behind my lifelong pledge that Reality Bites is and shall remain one of my favorite films of all time. If you are a fellow of the Generation X ranks, revisit this amazing movie. If you are younger and have not seen this yet, get it. Get it now, because it's not just for people of that time. It speaks beautifully to the experience of being young in all the best possible ways.
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