During my lunch break, I was listening to a lovely hypnotherapy MP3 done by my mentor and hypnotherapist, which involves creating and spending time within a "special place" where you can recharge, let go of stress and tension, heal and come out of the 15 minute session totally refreshed. It worked like a charm as always and I noticed that today my place was a bit different than usual.
Generally, I create a sacred space someplace out in nature; a magickal grove, an enchanted forest, a breathtaking beach. But today I envisioned my own private yoga heaven; a place with bamboo floors, 30 foot vaulted ceilings with huge skylights and an entire wall of windows looking out onto lush greenery and a beautiful deck for outdoor sets as well. The space was simple, lovely, Indian in decor and tone but also immaculate and the only sounds were that of the wind in the trees and the occassional wind chime or light sound of a resonant, deep gong or singing bowl. I even saw one of my cats there, Owen, my yogicat. He was greatly enjoying the wide open doors to the outside world, being able to chill on the deck in the sun and open air while I meditated or did arm balances and hand stands...mind you, I can't do those yet, but in my special place I can. ;)
Once the session was over and I was on my way back to my desk, still partially in my special place, I started to think about my connection to yoga and what it has meant to me throughout my life. During one of my favorite yoga DVDs by Bryan Kest, he equates the relationship to the ebb and flow of breath as analogous to the ebb and flow of life, and counsels that the breath is a metaphor for the one aspect of self that never changes. I love that kind of teaching, it stays with me, as this did, and I realized that since I first wandered around my mom's yoga class as a little girl, I've been rather enchanted with the practice almost since then.
My first experience with daily home practice came with a VHS tape in the mid 80s led by Raquel Welch, who admittedly is NOT a teacher of yoga, but the tape presented the Bikram series sans heat, which I didn't know at the time. I didn't care who taught or who owned the rights to the movements, I just knew I enjoyed them and felt different afterwards; stronger, more supple, calmer, happier, more confident. All things that are especially valuable to a painfully self conscious teenager. Did it keep me from developing bulimia later on? No. Nor has yoga kept at bay all sorts of "negative" or difficult experiences in my life, but time and again I come back to the mat, to my practice and to my Self. And I know without a doubt that my yoga practice has helped me tremendously to move through the traumas and dramas of my life, even if I wasn't practicing it at the time. The effects ripple on and on, I believe, like a pebble in a glorious, Universal pond.
I love exploring the varying energies and special points of view of different teachers; Bryan Kest, Max Strom, Rodney Yee, Seane Corn, Shiva Rea, Ana Brett with Ravi Singh, Mantra Girl, Gurmukh, Eric Schiffman...you name it and I probably have it on DVD or old school VHS. I get excited experiencing yoga through new eyes, and sometimes my body just craves the feeling of new movement. I recently added Shiva Rea's glorious "Yoga Trance Dance" to my world and find it to be nothing short of ecstatic; a new form of moving meditation, releasing creativity and letting go. I also love her very unique "Fluid Power" vinyasa that explores the same yoga postures with rippling, undulating, snakelike movements to release the spine and massage the cells...how marvelous!
My life is filled with starts and stops when it comes to just about anything; books, movies, studying, nutrition, friends, jobs...it seems one of the only constants in my life since I was about 16 has been yoga. I might wander away for a while in favor of running, weight training, step aerobics, Stairmasters...but I always come back home to this way of exploring the body and the space around me. Nothing leaves me with the same sense of equanimity, peace and balance that yoga does.
In the Ayurvedic paradigm, I'd imagine I have a very Vata mind despite having a Pitta-Kapha body...so for me to have a constant thread in my life, something to which I can return time and again like a loving embrace...well, that's pretty special.
I get the distinct feeling that I'm at the threshold of creating a daily practice, something I aspired to before but never felt taking shape quite the way it seems to be now. But I think with the world as it is today, more technologically advanced than spiritually evolved, chaotic, noisy, crowded and loaded with fear...the time has come where daily practice is like breathing...as Ravi Singh often says, "when your life becomes your yoga and your yoga becomes your life, you're there."
I have a lot of love and gratitude for yoga, and for every teacher out there sharing in this experience and guiding students through a wonderful process of reconnecting and rediscovering who we really are.
Sat Nam
Namaste
Om Shanti
;)
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