I recently heard yoga teacher Shiva Rea saying in an interview that she was no longer interested in practicing yoga or teaching yoga. At first this seemed rather shocking because her classes and workshops are always packed and she sells millions of instructional DVDs, many of which I own and treasure. But after a thoughtful pause she explained, "I am only interested in living yoga now." Phew. And it made me think about the vast difference just that intention can make.
Intention is everything. It sets the vibrational and energetic template for everything we create and experience, every moment. My recent foray into the Asthanga yoga Primary Series is something I have gone into with a playful spirit of adventure and exploration. This is my time to see just what my body can do and all of the ways in which she can pleasantly surprise me with levels of strength, depth and suppleness I didn't know were possible. This is what I'm noticing after just two sessions of this yoga series with this intention.
But the asanas are only one piece of a vast puzzle that represents a way of life, a union of body, mind and spirit into a lifelong experience of peace, presence and power. Not the power of a "rockin yoga bod" (that kind of language now actually feels like nails on a chalkboard to me), which is a lovely side effect of regular asana practice...but the power of being one with all there is, feeling the pulse of the Universe vibrating in every cell, every fiber of your being. That is the nectar, the reward of the yogic path. It's a path that involves great awareness in so many areas, and as I am currently studying on my own until the right teacher comes into my life, I am taking it slowly. gently, and with great humor.
Having set an intention to explore the yogic lifestyle and path, I have noticed some profound shifts and awarenesses already; my intermittent fascination with ahimsa (non-violence) via a yogic diet, sans meat or anything that involves death, pain or suffering, has become something that now seems organic and inevitable. The idea has always appealed to me, but seemed daunting and too restrictive. Right now, it feels more like freedom.
I've also been thinking about the concept of Bramacharya, which is sometimes translated as a need for celibacy or total abstinence, but even yoga masters married and had children. Bramacharya is more about bringing an energy of sacredness to the sexual union, coming from a place of love and purity in body and mind when it comes to sexuality. It's also about not scattering or wasting the precious energy harnessed through sexuality, which is one of the most vital forces in the Universe, containing the seeds of all creation. This doesn't mean you only have sex to reproduce or that it can't be fun and wonderful, it should be! But we're living in a time when the sexual acts are so thoroughly debased and taken for granted, children who barely understand who they are and what they are doing are experimenting with this energy in disrespectful, demeaning ways far younger than my generation did. It's not unusual for 12 and 13 year olds to be sexually experienced. This saddens me. I agree with the yogic view on this, especially now, after a life's journey where I did have a young, wild phase where sex was a game, and I can honestly say that it did have a deleterious effect on my spirit and my relationship with myself. It damaged my ability to trust myself, something which I am still rebuilding. As a highly libidinous woman, I intend to continue to enjoy sexuality and sensuality until the moment I stop breathing altogether, if possible, but now I think about it, I set a foundational energy of something Divine, Sacred and meaningful. This feels really lovely, this new awareness and energy.
Something about yoga, specifically lately, seems to lead inevitably to an opening of a heart I closed down and built walls around long ago. That might account for the intense waves of fear energy permeating my body and life lately, something I have been working to understand and move through, and without yoga I think I'd have lapsed into something very dark indeed. It's scary to think about opening my heart and opening to pain, betrayal and disappointment again. But somehow yoga practice and pondering the yogic limbs of Asthanga act like sun and water on a lotus flower...it just blossoms.
In a little while I will do my Asthanga asana practice at lunchtime and see just what new surprises are in store for me today.
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