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I caught myself in some punishing behavior recently that's indicative of that old eating disorder pattern still alive in there.
With the enormous and beautiful undertaking of shifting into a living foods lifestyle, I've wrestled with some intense cravings and detox symptoms. The cravings have been stronger than I can ever recall. But that's what happens when you start to change an unhealthy pattern- the old one fights back. As a Hypnotherapist I know this, so I get what's going on. But at times I find it difficult to control so I've been giving in sometimes.
At the same time, I have to honor the fact that I've made some incredible positive changes very suddenly in the past month or two. First, I stopped the morning trips to the Coffee Bean or Starbucks, replacing that with homemade fresh fruit and superfoods smoothies. A HUGE improvement right there. It also meant dropping the croissant I was having a few times per week, which was another unhealthy addiction, not to mention costly.
Giving up that morning sugar and caffeine high in addition to the ritual aspect of going to my local coffee bar was a big shift. It was fairly easy and now when I feel the urge for a Starbuck's treat I get something non-coffee based, but since that's been giving me a headache (the frozen lemonades) it'll have to go too. Ah well. All for the best. My homemade smoothies are better anyway.
I also stopped eating chicken, fish and eggs, all at once. I've never been much of a red meat or pork eater so that was no sacrifice, but I was eating a lot of chicken and fish. But those are generally easy for me to go without since I tend not to digest them very well anyway.
So when I was kicking myself for still having sugar and some mac and cheese these past two weeks I stopped and looked back on what I have already walked away from in the name of good health and a living foods transition. This isn't a diet for me, or something I want to jump into only to be overwhelmed and give up. I want this to be for life, literally and figuratively. So certain transitional foods need to be ok while I work through cravings and stages of changes.
For lunch I just had two slices of toasted sprouted grain bread with avocado, lettuce and alfalfa sprouts with vegenaise. Not entirely raw but damn satisfying and a good transitional food. I've had some processed sugar today, and last night I was wheezy from the peanuts I ate at work (need to steer clear of those no matter what Eat Right For Your Type Says!) but in the bigger picture, the improvements have already been vast. That's something I need to remind myself as I continue forward.
Part of me wants to be one of those people who suddenly went 100% raw, lost all kinds of weight and found their paradise on earth. Part of me feels that's not my path and I need to be grateful and excited to do it my way.
I did notice that when I ran for 20 minutes last night, I was sweating more than I used to when I ran for the first time in a while. I also recognized that I'd not been drinking enough water so I'm being more conscientious about that. Such an important thing until the diet is mostly or all fruits and veggies, alive and full of hydration.
My eyes are red when I wake up and have been for a while. They've become accustomed to the drops I bought once for my weepy eyes (when I was getting that and traced that symptom directly to coffee drinks in the morning!) that clear them up but only for a few hours. I'm excited for the day when this detox and shift has progressed to where they are nice and clear on their own. I know it's all coming, just have to be patient, stay focused and be loving to myself.
I have this vision of myself; a radiant beacon of health and beauty, ageless, full of energy, slim and trim and enjoying life to the fullest every moment as a 100% living foods babe! This is a good day to look at the victories and positive changes I've integrated already.
Well done, Alex! ;) |
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Posted by marathongal on 2008-07-16 16:37:07 | Rating: | Views: 17
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