I must say that my blogging days might be numbered...I have recently deactivated my Facebook account, did so long ago with MySpace (what a pit of chaos that has become!) and have a feeling that easing back on the blogging might be a part of this new way of living...and let me share with you all what that is because I already feel the effects of these shifts so deeply and the joy it's bringing cannot be measured.
First, easing back on the technophile life, which for me has been pretty archaic really because I'm not a huge fan of technology...toilets, absolutely...Blackberries, Bluetooths (Blueteeth?) and incessant checking of email and Facebook pages...not so much. it's so easy to get sucked into it, and as someone with a job that gives me AMPLE time to do fuck all on a computer, I went a bit nutty with the Facebooking...how odd to make that a verb, but I digress.
So I have eliminated that as a means of scattering my focus and energies, which will now be devoted to worthier enterprises, such as FINALLY becoming the auteur I have dreamt of being since I was a child of 7 or 8. Took me ages to even admit to myself that I want to do this, now I feel the Universe accelerating around me and within me, and I'm joyfully riding the waves into a brilliant new life. The first steps on this journey will entail writing and shooting a series of 4 shorts, under 7 minutes, to enter into short film festivals and to post/show wherever I have willing eyes and ears.
Second, and this is probably just as big as the career coming into focus, pun intended...my 20 year obsession with nutrition and using it as a means of eliminating and refining seems to be making a graceful exit. While I've loved the voracious studying I've done with regards to athletic training and nutrition and nutritional healing...what I am experimenting with right now, to great success thus far, is redefining my entire relationship to food and eating to be in line with what we all imagine to be the French way of living...the joie de vivre of taking TIME to enjoy a meal...eating rich, decadent, fresh, fabulous meals full of flavor, texture and color, but eating a small portion and finding it totally satisfying and lovely because I've taken time to sit, focus on the multisensory experience of it all and enjoy a slow, leisurely meal. I often caught myself shoveling food down my throat mindlessly while driving or watching a movie, and would eat far more than I needed to because I didn't even register that I was satisfied. When I watch people eat, I see most folks multitasking and treating meals as either inconveniences to be hurried through, or sources of false comfort in place of some whole in their lives and since that will never find one satiated the tendency to gorge and stuff is remarkable. I've been there; I've done all of those things and more. Seldom stopping to LOOK at my food, enjoy the colors, the aromas and to slowly savor the textures and flavors...I recently ate a fresh, juicy peach with my eyes closed, very slowly...what a different and joyful experience this was! I took twice as long to eat it as I normally would and suddenly became acutely aware of the way the peach smelled somewhat like a ripe, sweet rose...the remarkable texture of the ripe meat...the feeling of the sticky sweet juice rolling down my chin and not worrying about it. I wasn't hungry for anything else for hours.
This is all nothing short of a revelation for me, as my lifelong relationship to food and eating has been pretty awful. I've either obsessed over controlling and eliminating foods, gorged and binged on anything and everything to an abusive point or wished aloud I could do away with bothering with food altogether, like Robocop or something.
Well this is a different way to live...allowing myself 3 exquisite meals per day, no snacking in between (which I thought I needed for blood sugar issues, slight hypoglycemia), and really taking the time to enjoy them all, slowly, joyfully...taking wine with any meal I choose and enjoying that half glass or so (that's about my limit)...delighting in brie and warm baguettes and rich chocolate treats...slowly, mindfully, lovingly and finding that portions a fraction of my normal meals are MORE than ample to satisfy me...and the satisfaction is body, mind and spirit.
My dear friend Cassie (Vegrunner) has joined me in looking into this wonderful French way of living, what is sometimes called the French Paradox, and pointed out that they typically spend about two and a half hours eating every day...we Americans spend less than half that time...and here's my own guess...they also eat a fraction of the portions, far more fats, drink more wine...and yet overall they are slimmer, healthier, than we are. I had dear friends in high school who were French exchange students, who would tell me that they'd have supper at about 10pm, which always horrified me as I thought eating after 6 or 7pm was gastronomic suicide...but both families, every member, were all slim and trim and healthy as could be. When I thought of eating that late, I was imagining an American meal of plates piled high, loads of high glycemic index carbs and shoveling it down like Thanksgiving. No, that is NOT what they were doing. Gorgeous meals, lovingly prepared, rich and gorgeous, small portions, a leisurely family dinner with NO television on, no cells or BBs or iPhones (none existed yet)...clearly they knew something I didn't.
I still prefer to have my supper after work, by 8pm or so, but I did have a bit of brie with fig preserves shortly before bed last night...slept like an angel, woke up after only 5 hours with loads of energy, feeling fabulous...and after a few days of shifting into this joie de vivre lifestyle...I see myself slimming down quickly with NO exericse! Surely I'll add yoga and possibly running into the mix, but I'll do it as an expression of excess energy and joy, not as penance or because I "have to". What a difference! I might even begin to bring splits of wine with me to work, to enjoy a little half glass with my meal, eaten on the lawn outside. Why not? I wont be drunk, I don't operate heavy machinery, and wouldn't even a few sips of a gorgeous red taken with my meal add joy and sweetness, making life into a nonstop celebration?? Because that's what it needs to be, that's what it deserves to be!
Such freedom in all of these changes! This weekend I will even tackle a major project in cleaning and arranging my kitchen so I have a gorgeous little French cafe set in which to sit and enjoy my meals, away from the couch, the bed, the floor, the tv set and movies...candles in empty glass bottles, a lovely picture hanging on the wall, perhaps music, or just enjoying my neighbor practicing his singing (which is gorgeous)...making every moment, every morsel, every bite count as something spectacular. Ecstatic living!
This means I can and have been eating meat (yes, even red meat!), dairy, wheat, fats, you name it! In a strange and wonderful way, it's like landing on a new planet and learning how to live all over again. For a woman with my past in terms of eating disorders and food obsession, this is total liberation! Eat gorgeous, completely extravagant foods every day! Take time! Savour the experience! Be delighted in small portions, feeling far more satiated than if I'd wolfed down my usual mindless meals of deprivation and "have to" foods...pure joie de vivre!
Seems the perfect compliment to embracing my creative calling...a new life, new joy and a dedication to living in ecstasy every moment.
And so, you may not hear much from me in the future...we shall see. But I implore you all to examine your lives...see where you are sleewalking like a zombie...shuffling along like "sheeple"...try something new! Treat yourself to brunch on Sunday someplace fabulous! Eat exactly what you want and take 2 hours to eat...see how your experience of it all shifts! Bring a lunch to work of fresh foods, things you never "let" yourself have usually (brie, full fat yogurt, the best chocolate, wine, fresh fruit!) and eat them slowly, on a blanket as you picnic under the summer sky. Your afternoon, and probably your life, will be forever changed! As will your waistline. ;)
I have tossed out a need to be vegan, a fruitarian, anti dairy or wheat, candida diet paradigms, blood type...living for love, eating for joy....what could be better?
I wish you all great ecstasy and wonder in your own lives!
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