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| a rant about hooking up |
First of all, this is a chickenshit term people throw around these days as though making it into a culturally accepted term gives it some kind of cache or status as more than what it really is...having sex without intention of anything more. In my world, that's just sleeping around. When it's something competely mutually agreed upon between two people, great, best of luck to you and have a fabulous time. I've done that myself in the past with people I knew I couldn't see myself really dating or creating a relationship with so we just enjoyed the physicality for what it was. That was fun and harmless because we verbally agreed on it up front and there was honesty all the way through. But what I have seen in the past couple of years is an alarming trend whereby men (mostly) of all ages and generations will seek nothing but the "hookup" and if the girl they're hoping to do this with says they don't do that, guys will pretend they're into dating or want more as well...and in the end, they're just looking to get laid.
Now, people wanting to get laid is nothing new, it's about as primal and basic as it gets and it's not solely the provence of men. I'm one of the most libidinous women I've ever seen and pretty much came out boy crazy so I get the urge. What I do NOT get and can never condone or understand is using, lying and maniuplating to get it. And what I think it boils down to is both a complete lack of respect for others, particularly women, and being incredibly cheap. If you want to just let laid, get a blow job, hand job or any other kind of job...go to a strip club, get a hooker, jerk off to porn and pretend it's not your own damn hand but leave the rest of the population out of it.
A heap of dung is a heap of dung, doesn't matter what kind of pretty box you put it in or how many nice bows you tie around it, and in the same way saying you're "looking for a hookup" is no different or better than being in need of a prostitute. And if that's what you want, give an old fashioned working girl a few bucks and get your jollies but leave the rest of us out here who SAY we don't want to "hookup" and MEAN it a friggin break. Don't bother with pretending to care, acting like you want to date and know people and connect and then turn around to say "but I thought we were just hooking up?"
It's happened to me, many friends, coworkers male and female...it's just disgusting. Lazy, dishonest and disgusting. I'm sure the people who do this neither realize nor would they care about how deeply damaging and hurtful this is to the person who allows a physical connection to exist when they think it's part of something bigger and deeper only to find they've been used as a free whore. But having experienced this firsthand and witnessed it repeatedly, the wounds are deep.
I can only hope there is some sort of karmic or spiritual retribution coming for people who do this, because it seems almost epidemic, at least where I live. Maybe it's an LA thing.
enough said.
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Posted by marathongal on 2009-03-19 15:10:07 | Rating: | Views: 31
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