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I am surrounded by people who love me playing games (board games not emotional games, well maybe both, it is the holidays) and listening to kick ass music and all I can do is think about how painful everything is...all the expectations that can never be met and no one ever truly connects, ever. I am always alone no matter...depressing bullshit I apologize!
There are people who love to point of pain and I'm not sure life is a very effective outlet for those people.
I was looking for place to lay down and sleep for a long time...a place in nature like a clearing on a hill, or mountain near the ocean...Big Sur is where I was looking but I found a marathon to run there and now I am going there to live, when I meant to go there to sleep for a long time. Walk and walk and sleep and sleep...now I will run and fall in love, not in sleep.
Running is like drawing, a way to feel my bodily connection to the world. I can escape the cultural shades, blinds, no window treatments and see what is meant to seen through the eyes was given, dark eyes.
My eyes are green or blue depending on my clothes, today blue if want to know...but from in here they are a grey translucent that makes you look even more beautiful than you did a minute ago. How do you glow like that? I mean from inside to the outside? I think I only glow from the outside in and no one can see shit! You are all blind! But no one as blind as me...
depressing enough?
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Posted by marathon on 2007-11-23 23:16:21 | Rating: | Views: 73
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