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| Exchange of Fire for flame
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I believe that everyone has a certain essence about them. It is their spirit, their fire. Whether this fire was born within them, or then created it in order to survive, it is a part of their character and who they are. But what do you do when your fire is too bright for some eyes? What if your spirit is an inferno and those around you cannot tolerate that kind of heat? For some time now, a month or so I would say, My Love has been dealing with a constant pressure from his parents, more specifically his mother. This pressure is about me, and if he really wants to be with me. ( reference " What happened" blog) Ultimately, he has to decide if he wants to break up with me before we hit that ugly 1 year mark.
The one year mark… its too early to talk about the rest of your lives, and yet its too late to break up without everyone asking why… it’s a little like being 19 or 20. A little awkward. Anyway, breaking away from this tangent…
When I asked My Love the reason for this pressure, he reluctantly brought up the fact that I am such am strong and outspoken person. I speak the truth. This is my fire. First off, I come from a REALLY loud family. The noise just gets higher and higher at our house. Secondly, being raised in a male dominated family, I always felt that I needed to make an extra effort to be heard, since I am a woman. My family always frowned on it a little, but they figured I was hopeless and gave up on toning me down. But now, I am finding that this fire, which I felt was such a big part of me, is putting a gap between him and me. His family is much quieter, and much more subtle. But then again, they don’t talk much to each other. His mother is the voice of the family. The brothers talk to her, and she then relays what she hears. I don’t know if she relays things perfectly, but that is another matter. I would much rather be loud and off color than to speak through someone, or not at all. I wonder if my outspoken fire is something that they can adjust to, like the eyes. Or if they are made of wax and ice, and the fire is completely intolerable. Should I exchange my inferno for a flame? Should I compromise my character for My Love?
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Posted by lusochick on 2008-08-16 21:46:56 | Rating: | Views: 39
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