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| ouch. haha. |
relationships. it doesn't seem like a huge deal right..?
for the first time in a really long time, i reached out, and took a chance. i decided to go ahead and try having a relationship, only to be shot down by another player.
he called me "babe" and "cutie" and "gorgeous".
and i loved it,
part of me saw straight through it, the other part relentlessly told me he'd be different.
was he..? no.
i'm done. trying to give to others, trying to give myself to others.
i want to be selfish.
just be solitary for awhile,
and let whatever pathetic remainants of the original "me" rejuvinate.
after years, you'd think i'd learn better, you'd think that i'd be ready to handle something like this;; i guess i'm just messed up.
reaching out. for help?
i tried. i was ignored.
i tried again. i was laughed at.
i wish i was home. in lubbock. actually i don't care where, i just don't want to be here.
i want to be away. away from everyone.
i want to be by myself.
and i am.
and i probably will be for the rest of my life.
so thank you, wonderful bloggin site,
to allow me to find support throught the anymosity of the moniter.
and thank you, for anyone who has ever read what i have to say and not thought i was just another emo kid read to cut my wrists.
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Posted by lovelessx3 on 2009-11-01 22:53:25 | Rating: | Views: 27
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